Constricting Pain
by Lady Buttercup
Summary: COMPLETE. Ginny Weasley is in her sixth year and she has to cope with the lose of her brother. Everyone makes an effort to comfort her but she rejects them all. What happens when someone is finally able to open her heart and comfort her?
1. Prologue

**Summary:** Ginny Weasley is in her sixth year and she has to cope with the lose of her brother. Everyone makes an effort to comfort her but only one is really there for her. 

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the Harry Potter characters or the places. They are all owned by JKR.

REVISED!

**Prologue**

In two weeks I will be sixteen. Last week Ron would've turned seventeen. But now he'll never experience that, and it's all thanks to that Harry Potter. Remember First Year when I had that stupid crush on him? I feel so idiotic when I think about it now. How I could I have a crush on that, that killer?

I passed the Quidditch store and notice a new broom, the Lightening, in their window. Ron would've loved that, too bad Harry had to go and kill him.

I know, I know. You all think I'm being too hard on Harry, but it's not my fault. He shouldn't have dragged Ron into this. It's Harry's fault for not asking for help. If he had asked for help then Ron would've came the easy way, but no. Harry didn't ask for help and so Ron had to be stupid and faithful toward his friend and had to fight his way in and get killed. Harry didn't even kill Voldemort, that's what makes it seem so much worse. It was like his death was in vain.

I hate Harry Potter.

During my daydreaming I ran into, what seemed a wall. I lost my balance and almost fell to the ground if it weren't for the wall's hand to reach out and catch me.

"Are you ok?" the wall asked. I looked up, pushing my long hair out of my eyes, and saw that the sun was directly behind the wall of muscle.

"Yeah," I said breathlessly, straightening up. Squinting, I noticed his, the wall that is, hair was light and glowing. Then again I was staring almost directly into the sun.

The wall with the glowing head of hair and I stood there for a few moments, me trying to see what he looked like and him, well, doing something. I couldn't really see what he was doing.

"Hurry up! We need to get home!" I heard my mum yell. I blushed.

"Um, I have to go. Bye," I said, smiling.

"Maybe I'll see you at Hogwarts?" the wall asked.

"Maybe," I said, biting my lip.

"Bye," he said, walking off, but I thought I saw him glance at me once more.

"Bye," I murmured as I walked away, a smile plastered on my face.

"Where have you been? I've been calling you for five minutes!" mum exclaimed as I reached her at Gringotts.

"Sorry, I ran into someone," I blushed.

"Ginny! You're smiling!" mum practically yelled as I stood next to her. "I haven't seen you smile in ages," she muttered.


	2. Chapter 1

REVISED!

**Chapter 1**

_Harry opened his eyes to find a forest before him. Silence enveloped him as he looked around. No sound emitted from the shadows of the trees. It was too quiet to be a forest. Where were the creatures that lived in the night? Where were the sounds of life?_

_Harry shivered, gripping his wand tighter in his hand. For a slip second he regretted not asking his friends for help, but then he remembered what he was here to do and quickly decided that what he did was for the best. He wasn't going to put his friends in danger when there was no need for them to be. He wasn't going to risk their lives when they didn't have to do. He did regret, though, not saying a proper goodbye to them._

_Harry took one last look around the forest that bared his path to safety and slowly took a step on the beaten path he knew he had to choose. _

_---------------------------------------------------------_

I sat on my bed, Indian style, flipping through the _Witch Weekly_ magazine. My eyes skimmed the pages but I wasn't really reading them. My mind was focused on the fact that in two days I will be seated on the Hogwarts Express. I will finally have to face all of Ron's friends. I avoided talking to Hermione Granger all though break, but that won't work at Hogwarts. And I'll finally see Harry Potter face-to-face since Ron's funeral. Of course there will be all the other people that will try to comfort me. When will people learn that I don't want their comfort? I just want to be left alone.

People want to relive their memories about him, I don't. I can't. It's too painful. Mum doesn't find it too painful. She's put up every picture of Ron she can find all around the house. I often find her staring at them with tears in her eyes. When I pass a picture, I advert my eyes. I can't stand the sight of Harry with my brother.

Charlie and Bill are coping with their pain by throwing themselves into their work; Percy has done the same. Fred and George have started to create everything they make in honor of Ron. Ron's Red Rage, a type of fiery bubblegum, among others. I refuse to buy their products now. I really don't understand how Mum copes with it all. One minute she's fine but then someone mentions Ron or something similar and she breaks down. After awhile, it becomes annoying.

Dad, well, we don't see him much. He's at work almost twenty hours a day and the rest of the time in the garage investigating some Muggle product. No one has even dared to talk to him or step in the garage.

The end of my fifth year. That's when all of this started. The last day of school. That's when Harry decided to go alone. Why did he have to do that? He knew we'd come, we were his friends! I haven't seen anyone since that day. I don't want to see anyone.

I excluded myself from a social life in order to cope with the pain inside me. I had spent the whole summer inside my room, excluding Diagon Alley and outings my parents made me go to. During this time in my room I ripped up pictures of Harry, tore out every page I had written about him in my notebooks and diaries. I attempted to permanently erase him from my memory. Naturally that didn't go too well with mum when she found me in my room with my wand to my head. Three weeks without a wand and two months of counseling was my punishment. Obviously, those two months were hell. Having a person dig into my life where they had no business to be did not make me very happy.

Those three wandless weeks were spent experimenting with Muggle beauty supplies I bought along time ago but never got around to using them. Along with the beauty supplies, I played with my hair. I was going to change. I wasn't going to dress like a girl that needed comforting. I was going to dress like a girl that was strong and could get past this bump alone. Of course, the bump I imagined was in reality an impassable mountain.

One outing I was forced to go on was a three day mini-vacation with Charlie to Spain. There were sightings of a dragon in Madrid and Charlie was told to go settle it. Mum asked him to take me along to get me out of the house. I wasn't happy at all about it, but when we got to Madrid, I was slightly happier. Charlie was nice and he didn't pressure me into talking. That's what I enjoyed about it. Mum was always saying that I can tell her anything and that if I needed to talk she was there for me. I never wanted to talk.

In Madrid, Charlie spent two days dealing with the dragon and spent the third with me. We didn't shop, but spent the whole day sightseeing and enjoying each others company. It was nice to be away from home and just be able to think about everything else besides him.

So here I was, sitting on my bed, flipping through a magazine when I should be packing my trunk. Clothes were strewn all over the floor, the trunk was open with random things thrown in it, and two bundles of letters lay on the floor, waiting to meet their fate. The fire or the trunk.

One bundle was tied up neatly with hearts and little drawings on the envelopes. This bundle was larger than the second. The second bundle was only slightly smaller but the envelopes were plain and bore few markings. The first bundle was letters from Harry when I had that infatuation with him. The second were all the letters I could find from Ron. Before I went to Hogwarts, we were close and he would send me letters personally. Then when I went to Hogwarts, we grew apart, but whenever he went away for the summer he would still send me letters. These letters I was defiantly taking with me to Hogwarts. What should I do with the first bundle?

Though I hated Harry now and no longer liked him, I was still bound by all the memories we shared together. I couldn't help it. Those experiences made me who I am. I was bound to them.

So with my decision in my mind, I took the two bundles and threw them into the bottom of my trunk along with pictures of Ron I couldn't look at right now but I knew I would be glad to have later on.

I sat on the edge of my bed staring at my trunk as unwanted tears started to form in my eyes. I hadn't cried in over a month. I wasn't going to start now. I heard a knock on my door and the hinges creak as it started to open. I quickly wiped away the tears.

"Ginny?"

I recognized the voice and wasn't too happy in hearing it.

"What do you want?" I asked, wiping away the last of the unwanted tears. I got up off my bed and walked to my closet, not even glancing at the wavy-haired girl.

"Why didn't you respond to any of my owl posts?" the girl asked, standing in the doorway, not daring to take a step closer.

"Because I didn't want to," I stated, rummaging through my closet and throwing clothes in the general direction of my trunk. Yes, I had grown to be slightly mean and withdrawn, but death will do that to you sometimes.

"Ginny, I want to talk," Hermione said, venturing in the room. She kneeled down and started to pick up the clothes.

"My mom's right downstairs, she's always willing to talk," I said, turning away from my closet and moving to my drawers. I still didn't look at her.

"I want to talk to you," Hermione said as she started to fold the clothes and place them in neat piles on my bed.

"Well I don't want to talk to you," I said, knowing that that statement was going to hurt her.

"Why don't you talk to anyone? You need to talk to someone," Hermione said.

"No, I don't. I'm perfectly fine without talking," I said coldly. Why was I so mean? Isn't Hermione my friend?

I heard Hermione rummaging through my trunk and knew that she found all the pictures and letters. I blinked away tears that started to form. Silence filled the room for a few moments.

"You've been in this room for the whole summer. You've grown pale because you haven't had any sun," Hermione said quietly.

"That's not true, I was in Diagon Alley just last week," I retorted.

"One day in the sun does not count, Ginny," Hermione said. She grabbed my shoulders and turned me around to face her. I was shocked. She'd never acted this way around me. She used to be nice to me.

"You've changed Ginny. Your mum's told me about the way you act. You've grown angry and more distant. You won't look at the pictures of Ron," Hermione said. I shivered when she said his name. In my mind I can't speak his name; if it's out-loud then it's more real, more final. She continued with her rant, "You snap at people when they say his name, you won't even say his name."

"Stop! Just stop!" I yelled, covering my ears, trying to prevent myself from hearing what she's saying.

Hermione didn't pay any head to my yelling though, she continued, but on a different subject. "What about Harry?" I froze when I heard his name. "This isn't his fault, Ginny, and you need to stop blaming him." She gestured to all the ripped up pieced of paper that littered my room. Corners of moving pictures of Harry filled my mind.

"Shut up! Shut up, Hermione!" I yelled, inwardly shocked at my yelling. I closed my eyes and turned away from her.

"No! I won't shut up! Ron's death isn't Harry's fault!" Hermione yelled back. I covered my ears again in vain to block her yelling. "Get over you little fantasy of blaming someone else. This was no ones fault except the Dark Lord's. Ron was the type of person that would follow his friends to the ends of the earth. Harry isn't to blame. Accept that," Hermione said more quietly.

"I can't, I can't, I can't," I moaned, sinking to my knees. No one has talked to me so much about Ron and Harry. I couldn't help it, I cried. I couldn't believe Hermione, I wouldn't. In my heart, I knew Harry was still the source of all my pain. In my heart, Harry took the only person that truly understood me.


	3. Chapter 2

REVISED!

**Chapter 2**

I stood in front of the barrier to Platform 9 and ¾ dreading the moment I'll have to walk through it. I knew what would be before me when I step through; tears, red eyes, people wanting to comfort and wanted to be comforted. I didn't want to face any of that. I just wanted to be locked in my room again.

"Ginny, lets go." Mum's voice broke through my reverie. She stood by the barrier, waiting for me to go through. I could see how hard this was on her. The pain was etched on her face. But she had to be here for her youngest child. She had to be here for me.

I stood staring at the barrier for another moment and finally walked up to it. When no one was watching I slowly slid through the barrier and onto Platform 9 and ¾.

Before I stepped onto the Platform, I expected tears and pain. When I stood on the Platform, it was different that what I expected. No one was bawling, no one was wailing, no one rushed up to me. A few of the parents to rush to my mom and a few patted me on the back, but no one rushed up to me specifically.

The Platform use to be a happy and loud place, whether it was going away with your friends or coming home to your family. Now it was quiet and sullen. There weren't any loud bursts of laughter. No one shouting hello to a friend on the other side. No one was hanging out the windows kissing their parents goodbye.

I saw cliques of friends talking in low voices. I saw people glancing my way when they thought I wasn't looking. I saw pain in almost everyone's faces. I saw Lavender Brown. I hadn't seen Lavender since the funeral and she was a mess there. Hermione wasn't even taking it that hard, well at least not on the outside. On the Platform she was the only one that was openly crying. It wasn't loud crying, but just silent tears rolling down her cheeks. I saw her friends surrounding her, putting their arms around her, comforting her.

I turned away from that group and saw Luna Lovegood. She was sitting on a bench by herself, hugging her newspaper to her chest. I knew that she had grown attached to Ron the years that she knew him. No one knew about it but me. She didn't even know that I knew about it. It was obvious if you really watched her. Luna also had tears in her eyes but every time they escaped her eyes she quickly wiped them away so that no one would know she was crying. I was suddenly overcome with sadness and wanted to go over there and comfort her. But I didn't, I couldn't.

Again I turned away from the tears.

"Ginny, I have to go." I turned around and saw my mum with tears flowing from her eyes. "I thought I could handle this, but I can't. I'm sorry. Have a nice school year honey, and don't forget to write."

I nodded, understanding her pain. I knew she wouldn't be able to last. I wondered why she even came. I hugged my mum and we stood there for a few moments, not wanting to let go of each other.

"I love you mum," I whispered in her ear before I let go. She smiled at me and kissing me on the cheek before she walked away.

I stared at my mum's retreating back before I too turned away and started walking toward the train, pushing my cart with me. I half-expected people to come up to me and console me, but they didn't. I was half glad of that. I lugged my trunk onto the train and started searching for an empty compartment. I wasn't going to share a compartment, I was determined of that.

I finally found a compartment at the end of the train. I pushed my trunk into the compartment and started struggling to put it above the seats. Having done nothing but sit in my room and flip through magazines and other various books, I was quite weak. Just when I started considering leaving the trunk on the ground, I felt the end lift up. With this extra help, I managed to get the trunk in the section above the seats. I turned around to see who my helper was.

I almost laughed out loud with the irony of it all. Who else would be my helper except the very person I didn't want to see or talk to. Who else but Harry Potter?

We stood staring at each other for a few minutes. Actually it was me glaring at him and him staring at me with big puppy dog eyes. I wasn't going to break the silence. I was going to stare at him with this death glare. I was just praying looks could kill.

"Ginny, I-" Harry started off, but I wasn't going to let him talk.

"Get out of my compartment," I said coldly, narrowing my eyes and crossing my arms.

"But I-" Harry started again.

"I don't want to talk you, so get out. Now," I said again, turning away from him.

"Why won't you talk to me?" Harry asked quickly, worrying I was going to cut him off again. I ignored him, praying he was going to go away.

Harry didn't talk again but I could still feel his presence in the room. I heard him sigh and open the compartment door.

"I'm sorry Ginny, I really am. I'm sorry," Harry said, stepping out of the compartment and closing the door.

After a few moments of silence, I could feel tears welling up in my eyes again. I lay down across the seats and the tears started to flow.

Was I going to lose everyone I loved? Was I going to have no friends by time I reached Hogwarts? I had lost Ron, Hermione hated me, I hated Harry, and I kept pushing everyone away. Why? Was I really as strong as I thought I was or was it something else?

I could still feel the tears rolling down my cheeks. They weren't stopping, they weren't slowing down. Where were these coming from? I never cry, never.

Before Hermione came to my house, the last time I cried was Ron's funeral at the beginning of the summer. I couldn't help but cry, then. Everyone else was crying. I barely cried when it happened but at the funeral it was different. But when I saw his body lying in the casket, it just hit me. It was final.

Like a sledgehammer in the stomach, I had realized that my brother was dead. My favorite brother was dead. The brother that would bring me knick-knacks from Hogwarts. The one that would tell me all the little tricks to get me through school. The brother that told me all about the adventures he had, the ones that I didn't go one. He was the brother that stood up for me in my second year, the one that was willing to go down in the Chamber of Secrets for me. He didn't care if he met the snake; he would go down there no matter what, just for me. Fred and George didn't do that.

I curled up in a ball, tears still rolling down my cheeks. Memories rushed back to me as I tried to fight them all. Slowly, with the hum of the engine beneath me and the faint rocking of the train, I fell asleep with memories flashing in mind.

---------------------------------------------

I awoke from my slumber with loud voices in the halls and clamoring outside. As I slowly sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes, I was mildly surprised that no one had joined me in my compartment. Knowing that my hair was a disaster, I took a hair band from my wrist and put my hair up. I quickly pulled on my trunk to get it down so I could get my robes. I was running late and started to become frantic. This was not a good way to start the school year.

I pulled on my trunk one last time and it came tumbling down. I quickly jumped out of the way of its weight, emitting a scream as it crashed to the floor and burst open.

"This is just not my day," I muttered as I quickly flipped the trunk right side up and started throwing clothes in it. I finally found my robes near the bottom of the trunk. I quickly pulled them on over top the clothes I had on. I didn't have time to change into my uniform.

I heard the door slid open as I started squishing all my clothes in the trunk to make them fit. I looked up and saw Draco Malfoy staring at me with a surprise expression. It quickly turned to a sneer.

"Having trouble?" He snickered as he watched me struggle with closing my trunk. I was kind of surprised that he spoke to me like that. I had expected everyone to be nice to me and sensitive, but here was Draco Malfoy acting no different to me than the first day he had first met me. It was kind of a relief that someone was going to treat me normal.

"No, actually, I'm doing just fine. Thanks though," I said breezily, snapping my trunk close.

"What's going on here?" The lady that pushed the snack cart asked, walking up to the door.

"My trunk burst open," I explained.

"Well what are you standing here for, young man?" she asked Draco. "Help the young lady get her trunk with all the other baggage."

Draco rolled his eyes but bent over and lifted one end of the trunk. I lifted the other. With the help of Draco, we got my trunk with all the other baggage in no time. The platform was empty, save for one carriage, and it was being held open by Crabbe. Inwardly, I groaned. Draco moved swiftly toward the carriage. Quickly I weighed my choices; ride the carriage with a bunch of Slytherins, walk up to the castle, or stay here till the end of the year. I seriously considered walking up to the castle, but then I remembered that it would be a very long walk.

I quickly ran over to the carriage before Crabbe could close it. I held the door open as I looked inside the carriage. Inside sat Draco, his henchmen, Crabbe and Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson. I smiled weakly as they gave me a look of disgust, or at least that's what Pansy, Crabbe, and Goyle gave me. I'm not quite sure what Draco's look was. It looked a lot like mild surprise. I quickly squeezed in beside Draco, closing the door. I didn't trust Crabbe and Goyle enough not to strangle me if I sat by them and I'm pretty sure Pansy would hex me just for being me if I sat next to her. Draco had least had some sort of self control. At least I hoped so.

I moved as far away as possible from Draco and the other passengers as the carriage started moving.

Right now the only thing that made me just a little bit happy was that I knew at least one group of people weren't going to be running up to me to give me a big hug. That's what I wanted, wasn't it? Just to be treated normal? I didn't want the comfort or the hugs of people. I just wanted to be treated normally and not different because my brother had died. At least some people understood that.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: **I forgot to mention that the sixth book pays no reference to this story. A few things are mentioned from the sixth but nothing major, like the end.

**Chapter 3**

_Harry was scared. It was true. He was really and truly scared. As the prophecy rang through his head at every step he took, he became more and more scared. Death wasn't on his Top Ten List of things he wanted to do. In fact, it wasn't even on the Top One Hundred. It was far from it. _

_Memories started to flash through his head, blocking out the prophecy._ First Year was great_, Harry thought, reliving the memory. Meeting Ron was possibly the best thing that could've happened. Let's not forget Quidditch either; possibly the second best thing that could've happened. Hermione was somewhere on that list. Harry chuckled as he thought of Hermione. And then he laughed when he thought of Hermione and Ron, together in the same room._

_It was never a dull moment with his two best friends. _They were always there for me, no matter what,_ Harry reminisced, thinking about the Sorcerer Stone adventure. _They would both sacrifice themselves for me. And that's why they couldn't come_. Harry wouldn't let them sacrifice themselves for him. They deserved to live and fill out their dreams. Ron deserved to be the Quidditch Captain and maybe even play professionally. Hermione deserved to be the first woman Mistress of Magic._

_Of course, all the adventures weren't the only thing that happened in his years at Hogwarts. Hermione and Ron fighting were always pretty exciting. Fourth was a pretty good idea of Hermione and Ron's bickering, so was this year, his sixth year._

"_It was always about love," Harry muttered. Fourth year, Ron was mad at Hermione because of Viktor Krum, sixth year it was because Ron was with Lavender Brown and Hermione was mad. Why didn't the two of them just get together?_

_If there was any year that proved their bond as best friends, it was their fifth year, possibly their hardest year so far. They fought Death Eaters for him, Death Eaters! How many would fight Death Eaters for their best friend? Harry smiled at the thought of it all. At the thought of his fifth year, Harry's mind drifted away from his two best friends and onto Sirius Black, his godfather._

_Ripped away from his life during his fifth year, Harry never truly knew his godfather. He had only known him for two years, but still loved him like he was his own father. Watching someone that close to you die, ripped away from your life, was hard. Extremely hard for someone who had been through so much already. Confronting the pain was the hardest._

_Harry quickly wiped a stray tear from his face. This wasn't a time for crying. This was a time for battle. A time to be strong. _Be strong for Hermione, Ron, everyone. Be strong for Ginny_, Harry thought. A smile played on his lips. Ginny…_

------------

I was pretty happy when I reached Hogwarts. I had survived the carriage ride without a single hex aimed my way. A lot of people would be pretty happy if that happened to them, especially if the carriage was full of Slytherins.

So with my body fully intact, I hurried away from the Slytherins and up the steps to the Great Hall. Since we were the last carriage to arrive, everyone was seated except a few people. The difference between the Platform and the Hall was tremendous. On the Platform everyone was quiet and sad, here everyone was happy. The Great Hall was filled with laughter and voices. It was unbelievable. The happiness made me want to shout, 'Hey guys! Guess what? My brother's dead! Stop being so happy!'.

I, of course, refrained myself from doing so, though it took a few moments of teeth grinding and fist clenching. I slowly realized that the students were quiet on the Platform because they were vulnerable. They didn't care about my brother; all they cared about was getting to Hogwarts. And here they were, at Hogwarts, the safest place in Great Britain, so of course they were ecstatic, no one was going to hurt them now. Especially with Dumbledore around.

Did they really believe that stupid lie? Did they really live in that fantasy day in and day out? Hogwarts isn't safe. It was far from it. If it was safe, besides from keeping evil out, then it would keep the students in, safe from harm. Well, just look at how well that turned out. Evil still got in every year. Quirrell, the diary, Black, Crouch, my forth year we all left without anyone knowing, last year Harry left without a care in the world. It was like he had Dumbledore's permission. When was this school going to keep track of its students?

"You might want to take a seat, Weaslette," a cold voice whispered in my ear. I jumped and whirled around. I saw Draco standing there with that stupid sneer on his face. I glared at him and then saw that we were, in fact, the only two standing up and Dumbledore looked like he wanted to start his speech.

I blushed furiously and hurried to my seat. Today _really_ wasn't a good day. Everyone quieted down as soon Dumbledore stood up.

"Welcome students to another year at Hogwarts. I won't get into all the rules of this year quite yet. I will let you eat," Dumbledore said, his voice filling the room. When the last word left his mouth, plates and dishes, cups and pitchers were filled with food and drink to the brim.

The people around me immediately started digging into the food and dishing it onto their plates. I looked in disgust. True, I was hungry, but you didn't see me rushing toward the food like a herd of elephants. Being the civil person I was, I reached toward the roast piece and took a slice, careful not to splatter it as I set it down on my plate.

Watching the people around me digging into their food with no manners, talking with food in their mouth, and not even bothering to wipe food from around their faces made me want to throw up. Had I ever acted like that? I doubt Ron had even acted like that.

Suddenly I stopped with my fork half-way to my mouth. I slowly put it down, registering everything I had thought in my head. Was I being too hard on these people? These people I used to call my friends? What was my problem? Why was I acting like this? Had death changed me? Was I comparing every one I met and knew to Ron?

As I mulled these thoughts in my head, I slowly began to eat again. I put my fork to my plate to grab another bite and heard it clatter. I looked down and saw that it was empty. I looked up and saw that everyone was sitting back, looking expectantly at Dumbledore. I slowly put down my fork and also looked up at him.

Dumbledore stood up and made his way to the podium in the center of the front. He cleared his throat and began to speak in a loud, strong voice.

"Now that everyone's stomach is full, I will mention a few notices and rules to be followed. These past few years of tragedy, especially last year's, has greatly encouraged me to step up this years security. Hogsmeade is now banned to all students."

Moans and groans from all the upper students immediately rose from the students. A few even shouted. I was sad, yes, but I wasn't that sad. Dumbledore quieted the students with a wave of his hands.

"I'm sorry to say that keeping track of the students is hard work and it's possible that a student could sneak away. Something could happen outside of the protection of this school. As always the Forbidden Forest is off-limits. Anyone found within its premise will serve a designated detention. Mail leaving and entering the school will be checked. Any packages have to be approved before leaving the school. Entering packages will be opened. There are other minor rules posted on Argus Fitch's door down in the dungeon. Please consult the list sometime this year. If you have any questions concerning these rules, please talk to me or Professor McGonagall. Now then, off to bed!" Dumbledore said goodnight and stepped down from the podium.

People immediately got up from their seats and started to walk out of the Great Hall with their friends. I got up more slowly. Students bustled around me, shoving me and pushing me out of the way. I think I heard 'I'm sorry' about five times for about the billion times I was shoved.

"Ginny!"

I heard my name called from behind me and turned around. A bobbing head of wavy blonde hair greeted me. I couldn't help but chuckle as I saw my friend, Anna, attempt to squeeze through the crowds to me.

Anna was one of my best friends. She was a short, petite girl with naturally wavy blonde hair. She was very hyper around her friends but very shy around boys and people she didn't know. Hearing her shout my name surprise me; she's never done anything like that.

I stopped walking as I waited for Anna to catch up to me. She was out of breath when she finally reached me.

"Hey Ginny," she said, giving me a half-smile. One where she wanted to smile at me but wasn't sure if she should.

"Hey Anna," I answered her, giving her a smile. We started to walk again toward Gryffindor Tower. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Anna biting her lip, a habit she had, trying to decide what to say.

"I sent you a bunch of owl posts over the summer," she started, biting her lip again, waiting for my reaction.

"I know," I responded, not elaborating.

"I missed talking to you," Anna tried again.

I didn't want to push away my friend, really, I didn't. I couldn't help it though.

"I'm sorry," I responded again. I tried to say something else, but I couldn't.

By now we had reached the entrance to the Gryffindor Common room. The door was open since students were still filing in. Slowly we reached the entrance.

"Ginny, let's talk," Anna said as we started up the stairs to our beds.

I almost groaned when I heard those words, the very words I had been dreading. Why didn't people just get the message that I didn't want to talk?

"No, Anna," I simply said. I could almost feel the dejected look on her face. I took off my robe and peeled off my regular day clothes. I reached inside my trunk and pulled out a T-shirt and a pair of guy boxers. I looked at the shirt I pulled out and almost started to cry. I quickly threw it onto my bed and pulled out a different one. I put on the new shirt and boxers and climbed into bed, pulling the hangings close.

I grabbed the shirt I had thrown on my bed and hugged it to my chest. I could still smell that stupid cologne he always wore. Ron never did learn that it just made him smell worse. I pulled the covers around me and snuggled with the old T-shirt. Before I could stop them, tears started to roll down my cheeks again. When was this waterfall of tears going to end?


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N: **again this has no reference to the ending of the sixth book tho it does follow Harry's sixth year.

**Chapter 4**

_As Harry's thoughts drifted to Ginny, his steps slowed and a smiled played on his lips. To Harry, Ginny was the most the perfect girl. She was fierce, tough, insightful. She was beautiful with the fire red hair she despised. The freckles on her face accentuated her whole face. And her eyes were so beautiful; he could stare at them all day. She had a passion that few people could say they had. She didn't care what others thought. His second year was a good example of that. When she had sent him that singing valentine, she had felt little shame. Sure, she had blushed, but at least she had sent it._

Maybe that's what started it all_, Harry thought, thinking about the time he had saved her from the Basilisk and from Tom Riddle. _Maybe that's when I started to like her.

_Sure Harry had known Ginny since she started school, but he never had those kinds of feelings for her, that is until this year. At least feelings he knew about. He had always thought of her as a friend. No, more than a friend, a sister._

_His moments with Ginny were some of the happiest moments of his life. Did Ginny know that? Yes, Harry had kissed her, but did she know how much it meant for him?_

_-------------------_

Waking up with a tear stained pillow and dry tears all over my face is not a preferred way to wake up. But that was how I woke up. I rubbed my face as well as I could without leaving the confinement of my bed, but eventually I discovered that I would have to get up in order to be properly clean.

So with that thought in mind, I tugged the hangings open and climbed out of bed. When my feet touched the cold, wood floor it sent shivers up my back. I looked around and saw that the rest of my roommates were still asleep, or in the process of waking up.

Before anyone could notice I was awake and decide that they wanted to talk to me. I scurried out of my bed and into the bathroom, which just so happened to be farthest away from my bed. I had almost made it to the bathroom before I heard a groggy voice say my name.

"Ginny?"

I acted like I didn't hear it and closed the door of the bathroom. I looked in the mirror and found that my expectations of my face were right. Dry tears crusted my face, my hair looked like a hurricane swept through, and the little make-up that I did wear was smeared all over my face. Thank goodness there was a bathroom in the dorm room. I don't think I would have enough nerve to go downstairs in front of everyone to find a bathroom.

I immediately took a washcloth and began to scrub my face vigorously in hopes of getting all the stained makeup off my face. After a couple of minutes of scrubbing I was finally satisfied with my clean, red face. Now to begin on the hair.

Staring at the tangle that was my hair, I decided the best course of action would be taking a shower and lather it in conditioner. I moved to the shower and turned on the hot water. I stripped out of my clothes and stepped into the steaming shower.

As the water pounded against my back, I could almost feel every stress, every worry, every little nagging feeling washing away with the dirt and grime. My relaxation was cut short though when pounding on the door and loud voices interrupted my reverie.

"Ginny! Come on! The rest of us have to use the shower too! Breakfast starts in little over an hour!"

I grinned as I heard Ambry's voice through the door. 'The rest of us' usually meant 'I have to use the shower and get all gorgeous for my boyfriend even though he's a loser' for her. Not that she'd say her boyfriend was a loser. That's just what I thought. Her boyfriend was Colin Creevey for goodness sakes. True, he had grown up and now instead of stupid photographs, he takes artistic ones which are really kind of gorgeous sometimes, but still, he was kind of weird.

So with Ambry now wanting to use the shower, I quickly finished conditioning my hair. I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower. I dried off as well I could and then wrapped a towel around me. I opened the door and every worry that had washed off in the shower flooded back to me.

I stood in the doorway of the shower, my breath shallow and short. The images before me started to blur. I made to turn to run into the bathroom again but was cut short when I heard my name.

"Ginny? Are you alright?" Anna asked, concerned. The images grew sharper and my breath returned to normal.

"Yeah," I mumbled as I stepped away from the shower and toward my bed. I could feel the eyes of my roommates staring at me.

I sat on my bed, turned away from my roommates, thinking about what had just occurred. At home my room had been the only place I wasn't surrounded with pain. I had made sure of that. Everywhere else in the house I was enclosed by it. Here at Hogwarts, it was the same, except the bathroom was where my pain-free room was. Except I couldn't go in there whenever I wanted to.

With this revelation in my head, I started to dress in my school uniform.

Combing my hair proved to be a bigger adventure that I imagined. Not quite as big if I hadn't taken a shower, but still a big adventure. I'm pretty sure I lost a few thousand hairs from ripping at knots; it was finally knot-free after awhile though. By time I had finished combing my hair everyone was done with their shower and/or cleaning up. Most of them were dressed too.

My hair was still wet and I could feel it soaking through my robes as I walked out of the dorm and into the common room. I glanced at a clock on the wall and saw that I still had seven minutes till breakfast. I glanced around the common room and saw that it was empty except a few students who decided they wanted to sleep on the couches instead of their beds. I sat in an armchair free of dozers and waited till eight o'clock.

I heard footsteps on the stairs from the direction of the dorm and glanced up to see who would be interrupting the silence of the common room. Slowly Hermione popped into view, with her head down watching were she was stepping. She didn't notice me until she looked up at the bottom on the winding staircase.

She froze, staring at me and me staring at her. Finally she looked away and walked to an armchair near mine. I could tell she wanted to say something. I could feel the desire inside her. I wanted to say something to. I wanted to tell her that I was sorry for everything I had said. I wanted to tell her that I still wanted to be friends. But something stopped me. That something just so happened to be Harry. I could forgive Hermione, but not Harry and Hermione didn't want my apology, she just wanted an apology for Harry.

"Ginny I'm sorry," Hermione said quickly. At first I didn't understand what she said. I was still stuck in my thoughts. Slowly, though, the words registered.

"You're sorry?" I asked, still not comprehending what she was saying. Last time I had talked to Hermione, she wasn't exactly eager to apologize.

"Yes, I'm sorry. I'm very sorry," Hermione started. "I yelled at you at your house, and I shouldn't have. I was just very angry." She paused, debating whether she should continue. I urged her to do so. "I was angry at the way you were reacting to Ron's death." I raised an eyebrow and a spark of anger kindled inside me. "To me you were acting very selfish and I didn't appreciate it. I cared about him too, Ginny. Just because I wasn't his sister didn't mean I didn't care about him as much as you did. I had thought we were friends, but you proved me wrong. I needed to talk and you weren't there for me. I needed you." I bit my lip, trying hard not to yell at her.

Thinking it was safe, she continued, "And then there was the whole mess with Harry. I think you're wrong for blaming Harry, everyone thinks your wrong. Again, you're being selfish by blaming him when it isn't his fault. It was nobodies fault except the Dark Lord's himself. Ginny, Harry cares about you, a lot. The way you're treating him is killing him. Everyday he's moping around because you won't even look at him. Why can't you just talk to him?"

I glared at her. I couldn't help it.

"This is your way of apologizing? It's a pretty lousy way of it," I said. Movement caught my eye and I looked up at the winding staircase. I could just make out a tall boy with messy hair. "I don't know if I can forgive you Hermione, but I do know that I will never forgive Harry Potter." I said the last part loud enough just so he could hear.

Yes, I wanted my friend back, but not enough to forgive a killer.

I saw the figure on the staircase shaking his head with his head in his face. For second I felt sadness but I quickly replaced it with anger.

The clock rang, announcing the start of the new hour. I quickly got up from my seat and stalked out of the room and away from Hermione. Before I closed the portrait door I looked back and saw Harry sitting on a couch with his head in his hands and Hermione next to him, comforting him.

Again that inkling of sadness and remorse came back but I banished it. I did not feel sadness for a killer.

**A/N:** not as long as the others. and i'm not sure i liek the ending too much, but i'll deal. tell me what you think

annnnnd school starts up again tomorrow so i don't know how much time i'll have to write because soccer games are starting so yeah, we'll see. i'll still try to update ASAP. even if it means not paying attention during school. lol


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: **wow, i got this chapter up pretty quick considering i have soccer and school to deal with now. only 2 more weeks till spring break! _only _2 weeks. on another note: we won our first soccer game on monday, V and JV! that made me pretty happy. that an i almost scored 2 goals during JV, that's a big deal to me cause on V i play defense the whole time. that and i suck at ball handling. i'm the worst, seriously. ok i'll stop rambling and let you read. i'm just pretty excited.

Read on!

**Chapter 5**

The walk to the Great Hall took longer than usual. Hallways extended to long lengths and stairways were never ending.

Finally, though, I reached the Great Hall. As expected, it was empty save for a few early birds like me. I went to a seat near the middle of the Gryffindor table and took a slice of toast. I buttered it and put strawberry jelly on it. Taking a bite, I turned toward the entrance and watched as people began to pour in for breakfast.

The Hall became progressively noisier and seats began to fill. I noticed that no one sat next to me. Everyone sat at least two seats away. It kind of hurt.

I leaned forward, resting my head on my hands, waiting for Professor McGonagall to come around with my schedule. Having gotten high grades on my OWL's, I knew I could take higher level courses, but I didn't know what I wanted to be so I just picked random classes. Having done what so many before me have done, I put the choices before me, closed my eyes, and tapped my wand randomly on the piece of paper hoping for the best. I didn't even look at what had become of the random choices, like others had done; I just turned it in. I was kind of eager to see what my schedule was.

I watched people drift in slowly and finally, after what seemed forever, I saw McGonagall coming around, passing out schedules.

"Ginny, what an interesting schedule you have chosen. I look forward to seeing how well you do this year," she said when she gave me my schedule. I stared at her with an eyebrow raised. What classes had I chosen? My mom had bought my books while I was staring at dress robes so I hadn't had any idea of what I would need.

Tentatively, I looked at my mysterious schedule. My jaw dropped as I read my class agenda.

Advanced Potions, Astronomy, Ancient Runes, Advanced Charms, Advanced Transfiguration. What had I gotten myself into?

"I think I'm going to fail this year," I muttered, staring at my schedule. There was no way that I was going to survive this year. I could see the future, and it showed me sitting in the common room, surrounded by books, with nothing but embers in the fireplace. I was going to die.

"So what's your schedule like?" Anna asked me when she sat next to me with her schedule in had.

I didn't answer her because I was still trying to figure out how to get out of the situation I was in.

"Wow," Anna whistled, looking over my shoulder at my schedule. "That's a pretty tough schedule."

"I know," I moaned, dropping my schedule and burying my face in my arms.

"Why'd you pick such hard classes? What do you want to do?" Anna asked, sitting back down in her seat. She grabbed a piece of toast from the stack and started munching on it while staring at me.

"I don't know," I moaned. "I'm going to fail."

"No you won't, don't worry. I'll help you. See, I'm taking Transfiguration and Charms too," Anna said, showing me her schedule. "And since I'm taking Herbology I might be able to help you with properties of plants in Potions. You'll do fine."

I lifted my head from my arms and gave her a thankful grin.

"I'm still going to fail. Look at this, Ancient Runes. What is that? Who learns stuff like that? Who cares about stuff like that?" I asked, looking at my schedule. Anna just shrugged.

"Ask McGonagall if you can switch," Anna suggested.

"Yeah right, she won't let me. 'You chose these classes, you knew how hard they were going to be so you're just going to have to deal'," I said in my best imitation voice of McGonagall.

"It's worth a try at least, besides you're practically the top of our class. She loves you," Anna said.

"Except I always break the rules," I retaliated.

"It doesn't hurt to try," Anna said, grabbing another piece of toast.

I looked at the Head Table and saw McGonagall sitting in the seat next to Dumbledore eating porridge. I glanced back at Anna and she urged me to go.

I got up from my seat and began to walk to the front of the Great Hall with my eyes fixed on McGonagall.

Having become so determined to change my schedule and having my eyes so fixed on McGonagall, all the sounds and noises and people in the room were drowned out. It was only me, McGonagall, and my desire to change schedules.

Of course, when you drown everything out, you don't always notice the person practically right in front of you. I ran into this person straight on which resulted in me falling to the ground and dropping my schedule. I sat dazed on the floor while the person turned around.

"Watch it, Weasel," said the person now identified as none other than Draco Malfoy.

"Sorry," I mumbled, sitting up. I couldn't say anything because it was my fault. I looked around on the floor for my schedule.

"Looking for this?" Draco taunted, holding the schedule high above my head. I rolled my eyes and stood up, brushing myself off.

"Give it back," I said, holding out my hand.

"Finder's keepers," Draco sneered.

"Give it back," I said again through clenched teeth. "It's not yours,"

"See, this is what happens when a person doesn't pay attention and runs into someone; they get pissed and threaten to kill you," Draco said, glee dancing in his eyes. His happiness only made me madder.

"Well if someone's fat ass hadn't been taking up the whole walk-way maybe I wouldn't have run into him," I said in the same voice as him. A blush crept up his neck and his grin diminished only slightly.

Draco decided to ignore this comment and instead looked at my schedule. He whistled when he looked at my schedule. "Wow Weasel, trying to act smart or something?"

This time I could feel a blush creep up my neck. "Just give me my schedule."

"I guess that's why you were heading to McGonagall; you had to change it. Astronomy and Ancient Runes, tough classes right there. And Advanced Potions! Wow, that was tough, I hated it," Draco said, exaggerating every class. "Well here Weasel, I'd hate to see you fail any of your classes," Draco sneered when he was done going through my classes. He handed me back my schedule with that obnoxious, smug grin on his face.

I glowered at him. I couldn't help it. Draco Malfoy was the most obnoxious person in the world. I hated him. He's probably the second most hated person on my list. And he's just so rude. He didn't show any sympathy when he saw me. Now, I'm not saying I want sympathy, but when your brother dies you've got to expect sympathy. Everyone showed me and my family sympathy, everyone. But not him. Even some of the Slytherins had that look of slight pain and sympathy when they saw me. Of course it only lasted a few seconds and it was always replaced with a sneer.

Draco Malfoy was another person though. He hadn't said or shown anything. I never saw that look of pity spread across his face. It had always been a sneer or a snicker, nothing else. It made me angry. It made me really angry that he didn't have any respect. Sure Ron and Draco were enemies but doesn't an enemy always feel regretful when the other dies? Apparently Draco hadn't gotten the memo.

So I stood there, glowering at him, wishing looks could kill again. Finally I came to a decision.

"You thought I was going to see McGonagall about changing my schedule?" I laughed. "You're wrong; these classes aren't hard at all. I'll breeze through them. I just have to tell her that I don't have some of the supplies for my classes. I forgot to pick them up when I went to Diagon Alley." I stared at him with a look of triumph. That's what my outside looked like, but inside I was scared to death. These classes are hard and I wasn't going to breeze through them.

A look of surprise crossed Draco's face but was replaced by a bored look.

"I can't wait to see you breeze through Snape's Advanced Potions," Draco scoffed, before turning around and walking away.

I couldn't wait either, personally. Of course 'breeze through' might have been the wrong word choice. Maybe I should've used 'struggled through' or 'fail every freaking paper and test and everything in between'. Yeah, that was a much better choice of words.

I stood in the middle of the Great Hall contemplating my new situation. I couldn't just walk up to McGonagall now and ask for a schedule change. Draco would know and then I'd look like an idiot. On the other hand, if I kept my schedule I'd fail half the classes and look just plain stupid. Somehow, looking like an idiot in front of Draco would be harder for me to swallow.

I gradually walked back to my seat next to Anna; with a more dejected look that before. She looked at me with a confused face.

"I thought you were changing your schedule," Anna said.

"I tried," I said, putting my head in my arms again.

"What happened?" Anna asked, wanting me to elaborate.

"Draco happened and his stupid ability to make me smug about my tough schedule," I groaned from the confines of my arm.

"Wow," Anna said. "That sucks. That really sucks."

"Now I'm really going to fail," I groaned again. I could almost feel the tears of failure starting. Almost.

We sat in our seats in silence, me thinking about my soon nonexistent social life and Anna about, well I don't really know what she thinks about half the time.

"Come on," Anna said, breaking through my reverie. "We need to get to our first class."

"Great, I'm looking forward to my first class of," I consulted my now final schedule, "my first class of Ancient Runes. Honestly, who cares about runes?"

Anna laughed as we walked out of the Great Hall.

"Have fun," she said as we went our opposite directions; me to Ancient Runes and her to Herbology. Lucky her.

**A/N:** ok i'll see how fast i can get this chapter up. i don't think i'm busy sat. so i'll try to write then, but on sunday i have a vball tournament but i'll see what i can do. REVIEW to tell me what you thought of this chapter.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N:** sorry it took so long...don't shoot!

**Chapter 6**

_Harry knew it was the right thing to do. He knew that if he had stayed with Ginny, Voldemort would've found out and used her as bait. He would not put her in danger like that. She meant too much to him for him to put her that kind of danger. _Maybe when this is all over…_, Harry thought thinking about what will be when this whole battle is over when he finally defeats Lord Voldemort._

I'll ask Ginny to marry me and we'll live happily ever after_, Harry thought. The moment Voldemort was dead he would take Ginny in his arms and tell her how he felt, how he's always felt. Ok, so maybe marriage was a bit drastic, but he would defiantly date Ginny again. They could be a couple and he wouldn't have to worry about the dangers about it. And then, when the time was right and when they were older, he would ask her to be his wife and she would say yes. She would say yes because he knew that she loved him and always would. He saw that in her eyes every time he looked into them._

_Life would be perfect after Voldemort._

_Suddenly Harry sat down on the beaten dirt path and sighed, pulling his knees toward his chest. If he was going to defeat Voldemort tonight then he might as well take a breather. Harry brought his wand to eyelevel and started to examine it. He was bored and tired of creeping around. He knew that where Voldemort was hiding wasn't for another mile or so, so he just relaxed._

_Suddenly the rustling of bushes reached his ears and Harry popped off of the ground and into a fighting stance. The bushes rustled again and Harry located the noise from behind him. He quickly turned around and stared at the bushes, silently daring the person, animal, or whatever to come out and fight. He was ready._

_The bushes rustled again and a small groan was emitted from them. Harry's pulse was racing and he started to sweat. He was ready to fight Voldemort but he didn't realize that he was going to be attacked so soon. The creeping around was just a precaution._

"_Blimey Harry, don't shoot" a familiar voice said from the bushes. At first, Harry thought he was just imagining it but suddenly the red hair sticking out of the bushes told him he was not. "Are you going to help me or not?"_

"_What are you doing here Ron?"

* * *

_

I'm going to kill whoever came up with randomly choosing classes. I am not kidding. If that person's dead then I'll bring him back to life and then kill him. And after I kill that guy, I was going to kill Draco for making me keep my schedule.

Naturally when I came out of the Ancient Runes classroom I wasn't very happy. In fact, you could say I was furious. Ancient Runes was stupid, unusual, and just plain hard; not to mention the teacher was boring. This was defiantly a class I was going to sleep in and then fail.

"How was Ancient Runes?" Anna asked when she caught up with me in the hallways to our second class of the day.

I shot her a glare, figuring that that was a good enough answer.

"That bad?"

"Worse. So much worse," I replied, recalling the requirements and objective of the class. "I have to take notes! Who does that? Who takes notes?"

Anna almost laughed out loud. "A lot of people take notes. In fact, I'd say everyone takes notes except a few people."

"Well I guess I'm the exceptional few that don't take notes," I retaliated.

"Yeah, you're special like that," Anna said sarcastically.

"I am special," I said, ending the subject.

"What do you have next?" Anna asked, figuring that that would be a safer subject.

"The devil's subject," I growled, thoroughly angry that I had Advanced Potions next. How did I even get into that class? Had I really passed the exam last year?

"Who's the teacher?" Anna asked.

"I don't know, I don't pay attention to the little details like that," I said, glaring at the passing first years.

Anna smirked. "Promise me you'll know by the end of class?"

"I can't promise you anything," I said, a grin beginning to form.

"I knew you could still smile," Anna said softly. "I'll see you at Defense against the Dark Arts," Anna said as she started to walk off. I froze in my footsteps which caused a few people to yell at me.

"We have Defense against the Dark Arts?" I asked, thoroughly shocked. I know I didn't sign up for that.

"Yeah, it's required this year. Didn't you know that?" Anna said, walking backwards.

"Arg!" I shouted as I stomped off to the dungeons for the devil's lesson.

* * *

"Arg!"

I exited my second class of the day the same way I entered; in a very foul mood. True, the teacher wasn't that bad. I'm not sure who it was exactly, but I recognized him from the Order of the Phoenix. I think his name was Phil or something; maybe Philius. I didn't really care.

"How was the devil's subject?" Anna asked when she caught up with me at lunch.

I personally didn't call it lunch. To me, lunch was between the time eleven and twelve, maybe twelve-thirty if you were running late. Lunch at Hogwarts was more around the time one-thirty or two. That's one thing that always irritated me. I was always starving at twelve o'clock but I was still in class so you can just imagine how torturous that last hour of class was.

"It was the devil's subject, what do you expect?" I said, piling on some mashed potatoes on my plate. When my plate was filled I immediately dug in.

"Who's all in it?" Anna asked, also putting some mashed potatoes on her plate, though much less than mine.

"Not anybody I care enough about to remember," I said, taking a bite of chicken.

"Who's your teacher?" Anna tried again.

"Not sure. I recognized him and I think his name is Philius or something like that but I'm not sure," I shrugged. Anna gave up and just rolled her eyes.

"Remus Lupin is our DADA teacher," Anna said casually. I almost spit the mashed potatoes in my mouth. That's how excited I was.

"Are you serious?" I practically shouted, my face lighting up.

"Yeah, that's what I heard and he was sitting at the Head Table at the Beginning of the Year feast," Anna said.

"Maybe this won't be so bad," I commented, my day suddenly looking brighter. "Come on; let's go get our books so we aren't late." I dragged Anna out of her seat much to her dismay and began to drag her out of the Great Hall.

"I wanted to finish my chicken," Anna whined as we walked out of the Great Hall and through the hallways.

"We'll have chicken some other time this year," I told her.

"Lupin will also by our teacher the whole year," Anna retaliated. I just shrugged.

"Weaselette," a cold voice drawled out behind us. I closed my eyes and clenched my teeth.

"And her friend," a different, more high-pitched voice said.

"Anna, its Anna. Anna is really not a hard name to say, though I guess for you it might be," I heard Anna say. I opened my eyes and turned around. It brought me great happiness to see shocked faces on Slytherins faces.

"Whatever," Pansy muttered, crossing her arms.

"How are those classes going so far Weasel?" Draco asked with that famous smirk on his face.

"Fantastic. I think I'm going to ace every single one of them." I was lying through my teeth and he knew it.

"Good, I'll look forward to seeing aced exams," Draco said, still grinning that stupid smile.

"And I would show you why?" I asked innocently.

"Because I know you'll just be dieing to show me that you didn't fail and that you did in fact ace those classes," Draco informed me.

"Yeah, I'll be sure to do that," I said, turning around. I took Anna's hand and started to drag her away from these idiots. I didn't want there idioticticy to rub off on me.

"Hey, Weaselette, how's your dad doing? Kill anybody lately?"

I froze. Everything and everyone froze. I even heard Draco sigh and shake his head. Yes, I heard him shake his head. That's how quiet it was. Pansy of course had to have the last word. She always did. She didn't care about anything except the last word.

I slowly turned around and faced Pansy. My fists were in balls and it felt like my teeth were going to fall out because I was clenching them so hard.

"You fucking-" I started but was stopped by Anna.

"Come on Ginny," she said in a shaky voice, pulling on my arm.

"No," I said firmly, ripping my arm out of her grasp. "She's going to pay for what she said."

"Ginny, no, come on. She's not worth it," Anna said, pulling on my arm again.

Pansy stood there looking proud and smug as ever as if she didn't know she said the worst thing someone could say. She probably really didn't know.

After glaring daggers at her, I finally turned on my heel and stalked away. Anna was right; Pansy wasn't worth a second of my time.

"Pansy, you're a bitch," I heard Anna say as she raced off after me. As I walked way I couldn't help but let the tears fall.

**A/N:** dun dun DUN! ok not really, just felt like doing that. the plot thickens...sorta...so many questions, so much to write. It's summer now so maybe i'll actually have time to write. Review make my day!


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"It's not fair," I cried as Anna slowly rubbed my back in a soothing, circular motion. Anna sat on my bed in the dorm while I was lying in her lap, bawling my eyes out. I wiped my nose as a fresh tears started to roll out down my cheeks again.

Anna stayed quiet and continued to rub circles on my back. I didn't know if it was because she didn't know what to say or because she wanted to let me talk incase I decided to become mute the next day. I didn't really care, I just appreciated the silence.

"What's her problem anyways?" I questioned to the silent Anna. "She's a Slytherin, but that doesn't mean she has to be so inconsiderate." I saw Anna nod slowly out of the corner of my eye. "Ok, true I should've expected it out of her," I contradicted myself. "I guess I was just expecting everyone to be really sympathetic and careful about what they say. I was even expecting it out of the Slytherins but I guess I was wrong. I should've expected it. I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid Ginny," Anna said, quietly.

"Wow, she talks," I said sarcastically.

"Ginny, I'm trying to be your friend here. Stop being so mean," Anna said, taking her hand off of my back.

"I'm sorry." I really meant it this time. I was truly sorry for the way I had treated her. She is my friend; the only friend that understands me. I had just poured my soul out to her and she understood and this is the way I treat her? I really need to work on my people skills.

"It's ok, but you need to try and be nicer. The people that care about you are trying to help you but you keep pushing them away. It hurts Ginny," Anna said. This time it was my turn to remain silent.

After another minutes of lying down on Anna's lap, I finally sat up. We had both missed DADA and we could hear students downstairs being as loud and boisterous as ever.

"I'm sorry," I said again, referring to everything I had ever done.

"You already said that," Anna reminded me.

"Yeah, but this time I'm being truly sincere and I mean it for everything I've ever said and any way I've ever acted. I'm sorry," I said, wiping my face. Anna stood up and wrapped her arms around me. Slowly I did the same.

"Come on, lets go see what we missed in DADA," Anna said, pulling on my arm.

"Actually," I started, pulling my arm out of her grip. "I'm going to go take a shower or something." Anna stared at me, concern written all over her face. I smiled at her, trying to reassure her. "Just a shower, don't worry, I'm not going to drown myself." A smile slowly creeped up on her lips.

"Ok, I'll wait downstairs for you, then we can go get some food or something," Anna said, walking toward the door.

"I am pretty hungry," I said, rubbing my stomach. The mention of food reminded me of my not-as-big-as-it-usually-is lunch.

Anna smiled and opened the door and then glanced back at me. "Are you sure you're going to be ok? I mean, I can always go up to all the Slytherins and hex them; I learned quite a few over the summer," Anna offered.

"I'll be fine, stop worrying," I said, grabbing a bathrobe out of my trunk. I smiled at Anna one last time and went into the bathroom, into my safe haven.

* * *

When I came out of the shower, I didn't hear any noise coming from downstairs which led me to believe that it was suppertime. The grumbling in my stomach was a pretty good sign too. I sighed and quickly rummaged through my trunk for something to wear. I silently hoped I wasn't keeping Anna from her food. She can get kind of cranky when she's hungry.

I pulled out a pair of jeans and t-shirt and quickly put them on. I rapidly rung out my hair and then dashed out the door. I raced down the stairs to find an empty common room, save for a few students who apparently had already eaten.

"Anna told me to tell you that she was hungry and couldn't wait for you," a small voice piped up from my left. I looked down and saw a small first year staring up at me with big, watery eyes. I mustered the nicest smile I could and thanked her.

Some friend Anna was. She said she would wait and she didn't. True, she did get really cranky when she was hungry. She could've at least told me herself. A knock on the door would have sufficed.

I walked out of the common room, my stomach kindly reminding me of its need for food. Holding my stomach, I trudged down the corridor wishing there was a quicker way to the Great Hall.

I was so concentrated on trying not to keel over from hunger pains, that I didn't really watch where I was going that much. I've walked these corridors so much that I knew their patterns and had memorized where to go on what days involuntary. I had lost the need to concentrate on such walks. It was a waste of time when I had better things to think about, for instance, how I was going to survive without food until I made it to the Great Hall.

So since I wasn't paying attention that much, I ran straight into something, or more like someone. Well, I thought it was someone. It was build like someone. But of course it wasn't someone. It was a statue of armor that had decided to park itself right in the middle of the hallways. Sometimes I wish these statues of armor didn't have such a _hilarious_ personality.

So here I was, lying on the floor, wondering if it should get up or not. It really was quite useless to go all the way to the Great Hall now. Supper was probably over and Anna probably didn't think of me soon enough to save me food. I was doomed to die of starvation in a school hallway. This is how pathetic my life had become.

"Are you ok?" a curious voice asked, breaking into my thoughts. I slowly opened my eyes and immediately experience déjà vu. Candle light framed the person's face from behind, making it almost impossible to be able to make out their features. I was suddenly taken back to that moment in Diagon Alley when I had run into that wall of muscle. I never did find out who that guy was. Now I was laying down on the ground in almost the exact same instance. The glowing head in the hallway did kind of resemble the one from Diagon Alley.

"Are you ok?" the mysterious person asked again.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm ok," I said, slowly sitting up. When I sat up a pounding in my head occurred and I winced at the pain.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." I looked up and saw that the mysterious person was none other than the oh so famous Draco Malfoy.

My luck can be so great sometimes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, taking my hand uninvited and pulling me to my feet. My vision sway when I was on my two feet and I slowly began to rock. Draco put his hands on my shoulders to steady me. "You don't look ok."

"I'm ok," I assured him, shrugging off his hands and moving to the wall. I leaned against and closed my eyes until I thought it was safe to say that my vision wasn't swaying anymore. An awkward silence slowly passed between us as I stood against the wall trying to regain my balance and Draco awkwardly shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"I actually wanted to talk to you," Draco started off after an agonizing minute of silence. I raised my eyebrow in confusion. Draco looking for me? Most likely just to torture me some more. "I'm sorry."

I made a grab at the wall to steady myself. I was that shocked. The high and might Draco saying 'I'm sorry'? The world must be coming to an end.

"For what?" I questioned after the shock had slowly settled in.

"For what Pansy had said. It was way out of line and it shouldn't have been said," Draco explained, keeping his gaze on the floor.

"Yeah, well, I should've have expected it out of you guys," I said, glaring at the wall across from me.

"That's a big generalization," Draco said, looking up at me. "Not all of the Slytherins are like that. We aren't all like Pansy."

"You might not have said it but how many times have you wanted to say something along those lines just to torture me and see me cry?" I questioned. I could feel the tears creeping up in the corners of my eyes.

"Never!" Draco retaliated. "I've never wanted to say something like that. I might be a jerk sometimes-"

"Sometimes?" I laughed. "More like all time."

"I'm trying to make an apology here," Draco said through clenched teeth.

"You already said 'I'm sorry' so just leave already," I said, wishing he would listen to me and actually leave.

"I would never want to hurt you like that," Draco said quietly and then turned away.

The words slowly registered and I watched as he walked away. What did he mean by that?

I gave up thinking about it and slowly stood up off of the wall. I started to walk down the hallway in the opposite direction when my vision started to sway again. I reached out for the wall but all I got was air. I blinked, hoping it would go away, but my vision just became more blurred. As I swayed on the spot I slowly began to feel myself fall backwards.


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"_Ron, what are you doing here?" Harry asked, helping his best mate out of the bushes. Ron stood up straight and wiped off the loose leaves and branches. _

"_I came to help you, of course. You didn't think that I was going to let you have all the fun now did you?" Ron said, a grin on his face. Harry glared at Ron._

"_I told you not to come," Harry said, still glaring at his friend._

"_Harry, I'm your friend. I'm not going to let you do this alone," Ron said seriously._

"_Is Hermione with you too?" Harry asked sternly, glancing at the bushes behind Ron._

"_Yes!" a high-pitched voice shrieked behind Ron._

"_And me!" another voice said. There were grunts and squeals but finally two bodies emerged from the bushes. Harry groaned and sat down on a boulder. He had not planned on anyone coming, especially not Ginny._

"_I told you guys not to come," Harry moaned, rubbing his face with his hands._

"_Harry, we're not going to let you do this alone," Hermione said, placing a hand on his shoulder._

"_What made you think we would?" Ron asked._

"_I don't want you guys getting hurt. This is my battle and mine alone. I don't want any more people hurt," Harry said firmly._

"_We're your friends, Harry," Ginny said in the same tone. "You can't boss us around. We are going with you. We won't let you do this alone; I won't let you." Ginny stomped her foot on the ground to emphasize her point. _

"_No!" Harry said, standing up and facing Ginny. Ginny just glared at him. "I won't let you get hurt. I promised myself that I would never let you get hurt because of me," Harry said more softly._

"_We know how to fight Harry," Hermione said softly. "We've done it before."_

"_I'm not going to let you take that chance," Harry said, gripping his wand tighter in his hand. "I won't let you." Slowly Harry raised his wand and pointed it at his three best friends._

"_Harry," Hermione whispered, shock written all over her face._

"_You wouldn't," Ginny dared him._

"_I'm willing to do anything to keep you guys safe," Harry said, gripping his wand tighter till it felt like it would break in half._

"_Come on guys," Ron said, grabbing Ginny and Hermione's arms. Harry could barely stand to look at the hurt and shock written on his face._

"_No," Ginny said fiercely, whipping her arm out of her brother's grip. "Don't do this Harry! Stop being the hero and just let us help you!" she cried, tears forming in her eyes._

"_Just go Ginny," Harry whispered, tears forming in his own eyes. _

"_Come on Ginny," Ron said more forcefully, grabbing Ginny's arm again and dragging her to the bushes. Hermione just followed in shock, hardly believing Harry would do such a thing._

"_Good luck," Ron said before he disappeared in the bushes behind his sister and Hermione._

_As soon as Harry was sure they were far enough that he could relax, he collapsed on the boulder and started to cry into his hands. He hated doing that to his friends but he refused to let them get hurt because of him. They were his friends and he was protecting them. He was protecting them._

* * *

I know I've had this headache for quite some time. I don't know why I know that but I do know that I've had it for awhile. The whole pounding in the head thing gets kind of old after awhile. I just wish Madame Pomfrey would give me something to cure this headache. She's a nurse isn't she? Isn't she supposed to treat me and give me medicine? I'm starting to wonder if she was even trained to be a school nurse.

I woke up from my fainting spell on the white linen sheets in the Hospital Wing. I don't know how I got there but I did know that the bright lights were only making my headache worse. So here I was staring at the tray of food in front of me and wanting to vomit. Madame Pomfrey had placed the tray in front of me, told me to try and eat something, and then walked off. I didn't get any medicine or anything.

A breeze blew in from the window and the aroma of the food wafted over and into my nose. This time I really did vomit, but just in my mouth. I shoved the food away, causing the food to splatter on the ground.

"What are you doing Ginny?" Madame Pomfrey asked when she came out of her office due to the clamor I had just made.

"That food is making me sick," I told her simply, laying my head back against the stiff pillow.

"You need to eat something, Ginny. You need to get your strength back," Madame Pomfrey said sternly, picking up the tray. I watched her wave her wand and the splattered food appear on the tray again. She set the tray on the bed next to mine.

"I just ate at lunchtime. I should have plenty of strength left from then," I said. My stomach suddenly growled in protest, contradicting me.

Madame Pomfrey laughed. "Well your stomach says differently. Besides, lunch was almost ten hours ago."

I stared at her. "Ten hours ago? How long have I been out?" I shrieked. I looked out the window across from me just now noticing the dark sky and moon.

"Obviously long enough for it to be almost midnight," Madame Pomfrey said, taking the tray from the bed and walking back to her office.

"Why are you still up then?" I shouted across the Wing.

"I'm taking care of you, Ginny. That's what I do," Madame Pomfrey said, sticking her head out of her office. She came back a few minutes later with a glass of water and two pills, one white and one purple. "The white pill is for your headache and the purple pill is for your stomach. Drink all of the water," Madame Pomfrey said, giving me the pills and water.

I stuck the pills one at a time in my mouth and swallowed and then drank the rest of the water. I laid back down on the stiff pillow as my eyes began to droop.

"You cheat, that's a sleeping potion," I murmured sleepily before my eyes fell for good. The last thing I saw was Madame Pomfrey grinning as she walked back to her office.

* * *

"Ginny!"

Light pierced my closed eyes and I slowly began to drift back to consciousness. The first thing I noticed was that my headache was gone and my neck was sore. I hate the Hospital Wing pillows. They're so stiff and uncomfortable.

"Wake up!"

I slowly opened my eyes, still feeling the effects of the sleeping potion. At first my vision was blurred but slowly it became clear and I saw Anna sitting on my bed staring at me with concern.

"You're awake!" she shrieked as she wrapped her arms around me. I groaned as the pain in my neck increased.

"Yeah, you kind of woke me up," I groaned, rubbing my neck.

"I'm sorry, but I was so worried. You didn't come to dinner and then I didn't see in the common room at all. Don't scare me like that!" Anna said, hitting my lightly on the arm.

"I was coming to dinner but I sort of got tied up in the hallway," I explained, last nights events slowly coming back to me.

"I hope you don't mean that literally," Anna said.

"Of course I don't."

"So what happened?" Anna pressed.

"Draco apologized," I said quietly, still trying to remember exactly what happened.

"What?" Anna said, disbelief written all over her face. "He apologized?"

"Yeah, he apologized for Pansy. Then we got in this argument about how he would never say something like that. It was really confusing. And then he said he would never want to hurt me like that. What's that suppose to mean?" I asked, sitting up in my bed. Anna scooted more onto the bed and got more comfortable.

"It almost sounds like he likes you," Anna said slowly.

"What?" I shrieked in disbelief. Where did she get an idea like that?

"It's just a theory," Anna said quietly.

"It's a pretty ridiculous theory," I said, sitting back against the bars of the bed.

"Well, I don't know. He is the one who brought you here. If he was true Slytherin, he would have just left you," Anna said.

"He's the one who brought me here? He brought me to the Hospital Wing?" I asked in disbelief again.

"Yeah, that's what Madame Pomfrey told me," Anna explained.

"He was just being nice for change," I said quietly.

"If you think about it," Anna said, "he's been nice a lot lately."

"Yeah, whatever," I shrugged.

"Visiting time is over, Anna, you need to leave now," Madame Pomfrey said, sticking her head out of her office.

"Yes, ma'am," Anna said, and then she said to me, "I'll see you tomorrow ok? Just think about." Anna got up from my bed and walked out of the Hospital Wing. Yeah, I'll think about it. I'll think about how Draco was probably just being nice because it was a bet or something stupid. I'll think about how I was going to get him back.

**A/N: alot of dialogue this chapter and not a whole lot explained. It's mainly a filler chapter. The beginning's long so i couldn't get into too much in the main part. Hopefully some stuff with be explained next chapter, not the major stuff but some stuff. REVIEW!**


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N: for the record this was done wed. but wouldn't let me upload anything until today. it would've been done tues but i went to the Fox so yeah. sorry for the wait but it is totally not my fault. ENJOY!**

**Chapter 9**

_Harry slowly rose from the boulder where he sat. He still has a mission. He still has to do what he promised. _

_He was sixteen years old. He has experienced a girlfriend, his first kiss, and friends that would do anything for him, even risk their own lives just so that he could live. He has seen his parents even if they were just images in mirrors, pictures, or were just vapors._

_He has faced a dragon, talked to mermaids, banished Dementors, and stared at a Basilisk straight in the eye (so what if the Basilisk was blind? He had still looked at it). He knew jinxes, hexes, charms, and transfiguration spells to protect himself and others to a certain point. _

_He has experienced death in close proximity. He has lost those who meant the most to him, even if he was only one year old. He has seen and experienced torture (mental and physical). He has survived all three Unforgivable Curses. _

_He has already faced Voldemort six times and lived to tell, where others died without so much as a plea to live. Voldemort may have Harry's blood running through him. He may be stronger than ever. He may be in the valley waiting for Harry knowing that he was going to come. _

_He may have a trap which may lead Harry to his death. He may rise again in triumph for the time being, but he would be defeated someday. If not today, someday; If not by Harry, if not by Dumbledore, by somebody stronger and better prepared; if not by an enemy, by a friend that backstabs him in the back. _

_Voldemort might triumph today, but he won't triumph forever. He will be brought down by greed, power, and lovelessness because that is his weakness even if he didn't know it. Voldemort did not know love, he never did. Harry, on the other hand, experienced love every day of his life. _

_Ron, Hermione, Ginny, Hagrid, Dumbledore, Sirius, his family, the teachers at Hogwarts, most of the students, the Weasleys. The little kids that looked up to a messy haired kid, the parents that admired the bravery of a sixteen year old boy, the people affected by Voldemort's reign of terror, the families of those who had been murdered by Death Eaters or Voldemort himself, the people tortured and disfigured, but still alive, by Death Eaters or Voldemort._

_These people loved him. They admired him. Harry loved them, even the people he didn't know or who didn't love him back. He loved them because he needed to, because loving them would help him._

_Because love is the greatest magic of all._

* * *

"Can I leave yet Madame Pomfrey?" I asked, throwing the covers off of me. 

"Just a minute honey," Madame Pomfrey said from her office. She spends more time in her office than she does taking care of her patients. What does she do in there?

"I'm missing all of my classes," I whined, not really caring if I missed my classes or not. So far I had missed Advanced Charms and if Madame Pomfrey kept me any longer I would be missing Advanced Transfiguration. I kind of wanted to go to some of my classes this year. If I was going to fail I might as well try.

"I'm coming," Madame Pomfrey said, walking out of her office with another pill in her hand.

"More medicine?" I asked, taking the pill. I mentally checked myself to see if anything hurt; nothing did.

"You haven't eaten anything since yesterday's lunch and that wasn't even a good lunch. You must be starving."

"But I'm not," I said, swallowing the pill.

"You will be."

"Can I go now?" I asked, itching to walk out of the Hospital Wing.

"I've never seen anyone so eager to get to class. You can leave in a minute, I just want to talk to you," Madame Pomfrey said, sitting in the bed next to mine. "The reason why you were so sick yesterday is because you had a mild case of food poisoning."

"Ok," I said slowly. I didn't really care that I had food poisoning. As long as it was gone, I didn't care.

"But that isn't why you had a headache. Have you been stressed a lot lately?" Madame Pomfrey asked.

I thought back to my schedule, my friends, my life; yeah you could say I've been pretty stressed out. "Yeah a little bit."

"Well that's what is causing these headaches-"

"But I've only had one," I cut in.

"But you will have others if you stay stressed. I want you to try and stay out of stressful situations as much as possible. It could be bad for your health. Every night I want you to meditate in an attempt to relax," Madame Pomfrey said, standing up. I just stared at her with my mouth opened.

"I'm taking some of the hardest classes available, how am I supposed to not be stressed?" I asked, also standing up.

"You try your hardest but if you start to feel stressed then stop. I'll tell all your teachers but this doesn't mean you get a break on your homework," Madame Pomfrey said sternly. "They know a stressed student when they see one so they'll know if you were actually stressed or just slacking. Understand?"

"Yes ma'am," I said quietly.

"If you do get one of those headaches again, come here to get some medicine. I won't be handing them out everyday though."

"Yes ma'am. Can I go now?" I asked hopefully.

"I suppose," Madame Pomfrey sighed, waving me out the door. I smiled and raced out, happy to be out of that too clean, too sterile, too hospital-like room.

* * *

The only thing keeping me awake was the tapping of my nail against the desk. I watched it rise and then fall back on the wood. My eyes started to droop and my finger came down on the desk and did not rise. 

"Ginny!" A ruler slammed down in front of my face causing me to jump a mile in the sky.

"What?" I said, suddenly alert but still a little drowsy. I looked around, looking for the source of the noise until I found Professor McGonagall standing in front of me with a ruler in her hand which was on her hip. I shrank down in my seat at the look she gave me.

"Now that Ginny has finally decided to pay attention," Professor McGonagall said, continuing her speech, "you are all to read the first chapter in your book and then write a foot long essay on it."

Various groans sounded from the room, including from me. I already had homework in Defense against the Dark Arts and Potions, and I learned from Anna that I had homework in Charms too. I could tell already that this was going to be a great year.

I walked out of the Transfiguration classroom obviously angrier than I entered it.

"I barely have any homework!" Anna said joyously as she skipped beside me. I turned my head and glared at her, wishing with all of my might that we would switch bodies. Besides, Anna is the smart one, why is she taking all of these easy classes? "I've only got two relatively short essays and some light reading, what's your homework like?"

"Three monstrous essays, a large reading section and I'll probably end up having homework in Astronomy too," I said glumly.

"I didn't even know that they offered higher Astronomy classes," Anna said.

"Well apparently they do," I said.

"What time is the class?" Anna asked.

"I think eleven until one. I'm going to be so tired," I groaned. I'll admit; I was an early go-to-bed person. I went to bed early and woke up late. I liked to sleep.

"Well come on, let's go to the library and get started on these essays," Anna suggested, pulling my arm in the direction of the library. I really didn't want to go, I mean, I really didn't want to; but I had three essays.

"Fine," I groaned, letting myself get dragged to the stuffy library.

* * *

I dragged my feet down the eerie, silent hall. It was a quarter to eleven and I reluctantly dragged myself out of a comfy chair and into the cold hallways. I had yet to meet one student, teacher, or ghost. I was getting kind of creeped out. 

I turned a corner and faced yet another silent and dark hallway. I knew the way to the North Tower but hallways always looked so much different in the dark so I might have gotten lost. I was starting to get creeped out.

"Who's there?" a voice demanded in the dark. I jumped at the voice and flinched as a bright light was shone into my face. "Ginny?"

The light was shone down towards the floor and I saw Draco standing before me. He just happened to pop up everywhere, didn't he? I suddenly noticed a gleaming on his chest and saw the Head Boy badge. How had he managed that?

"What are you doing up?" Draco asked, his eyes roaming my face for some explanation for why I was up.

"I have Astronomy," I said simply, making to move past me. He barred my path.

"The higher level Astronomy has been canceled; not enough students signed up," Draco informed me. My blood began to boil. I was up at an ungodly hour, at least for me, for a class that had been canceled! Did they like torturing me or something?

"Canceled?" I repeated.

"Yeah."

My day was getting better by the second. Thank god it was almost over.

"They didn't tell you?" Draco asked. "I'll show you if you don't believe me; they posted a note on the door."

"No, no, that's ok. I really don't feel like walking all the way down there," I said, besides, if Draco was lying, I didn't really care if I missed the class or not.

"I'll walk you back to your common room," Draco offered as he began to lead the way to the Gryffindor common room. I couldn't do anything but follow him.

After the silence between us became overbearing, I had to say something. "Why are you being so nice?" I finally asked after a few moments of contemplating in my head.

"I thought we've already been over this," Draco said.

"You said you're sorry and you said why. You never said why you're being so nice," I reminded. Draco was silent as he took deep breaths.

"I have my reasons," he finally said. "Here's your common room, I trust you know the password." He began to leave but not before I could get one last word in.

"Is it because of my brother?" I asked before he had gone too far. Draco stopped but stayed facing away from me.

"Not all of it," he said before he began to walk away again.

**A/N: i want you guys to be totally and brutally honest with me: what do you think of the beginning of the chapter? not just this one but all of the chapters where it talks about Harry. This particular one is my favorite so far tho.For those of you who haven't figured it out yet, the italic parts are flashbacks of Harry rightbefore he faced Voldemort in his sixth year. they become more important later. but honestly, tell me what you think of them...and the rest of the story! REVIEW!**


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N: this would've been up waaaay sooner, but as nature would have it, it decided to have a big storm this past week/weekend so we didn't have power which resulted in me not being able to write. And then I was at my friends house who I haven't seen in forever. That is my excuse. I hope I didn't keep you waiting for too long...**

**Chapter 10**

"So Astronomy classes were canceled?" Anna questioned me the next morning at breakfast.

"Yes," I said groggily. I was about to drown in oatmeal, that's how tired I was.

"They didn't tell you or anything?"

"No." My head started to droop from my hand.

"So what are you going to take to fill that class?" Anna asked. I raised my head from my hand and stared at her.

"I have to fill its spot?" I asked.

"Yeah, you have to take six classes," Anna informed me.

"And I can't just take a study hall?" I asked, resting my head back on my hand.

"I'm not sure," Anna shrugged, "you'll have to ask Professor McGonagall."

"I'll have a study hall until she says differently," I said finally. I dipped my spoon in my oatmeal and slowly let it drip back into the bowl. I was too tired to eat.

"I never realized that you need that much sleep," Anna commented, staring at my drooping eyes.

"Yeah, I can't function very well without enough sleep," I said, putting the spoon back in the bowl and laying my head back on the table.

"Come on, time for class," Anna said, tugging at my arm. Begrudgingly, I grabbing my Ancient Runes book and my book bag and slowly walked out of the Great Hall, following Anna's back.

"You have Ancient Runes not Herbology," Anna said turning around and staring at me. I blinked and looked around, realizing that I had blindly been following Anna without any clue as to where I was.

"Right, I knew that," I said slowly, turning around and walking the other way. I heard Anna laugh softly behind me.

I leisurely walked down the hallway, not caring if I was late to class or not. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes as I yawned, distinctly hearing a cracking noise.

"Couldn't sleep last night?"

I finished yawning and opened my eyes to see Draco leaning against the wall smirking. "I could sleep fine," I said defensively.

"Obviously not," Draco laughed as he began to inspect his nails in a lazy fashion.

"I was up half the night," I replied, stifling another yawn.

"I wasn't aware that eleven-thirty is considered half the night," Draco said, laughing softly under his breath. He still wasn't looking me in the eye and inspecting his nails. Either he was cared too much about his nails or didn't want to look at me.

"It isn't," I said as I felt a blush creep up my neck, "for most people but for someone who usually goes to bed early it is."

A loud dong filled my ears as I stared at Draco and Draco at his nails. What was his problem? His nails were not more interesting than me; and if they were I was going to slug him.

"Are you even going to look at me?" I demanded. Being ignored can be a good thing sometimes but not when you're standing right in front of them.

Draco's smirk grew as he looked at me. What was with him? One night he's almost sort of kind and then next he's an arrogant jerk again; talk about mood swings. And I thought guys didn't PMS, yeah right.

"I hope you realize that you are going to be extremely late for class," Draco said, ignoring my question.

Slowly my eyes widened and my mouth opened as realization dawned. The bell had rung at least a couple of minutes ago and professors usually didn't tolerate tardiness.

"Look what you made me do!" I exclaimed as I started to rush down the hallway.

"I didn't do anything! It's your fault that you're late!" Draco shouted behind me.

I ignored him and continued to race down the hall. I turned a sharp corner and ran into the Ancient Runes door, forgetting how the door came right after the corner. I groaned and rubbed my nose, also attempting to keep the tears of pain from falling, as I slowly entered the Ancient Runes classroom.

"Ah, Miss Weasley, I'm so glad you have decided to grace us with your presence," Professor Archibald said when I walked into the classroom rubbing my nose. I gave him a sarcastic grin and walked to my seat cross eyed; I was trying to see if my nose was broken or not.

I ignored the snickering from the surrounding tables as I stumbled through the rows to the back of the class room to my seat. I flopped down in my seat and rested my head on my folded arms. I yawned loudly as Professor Archibald began his lecture once again.

"Do you have something to share with the class, Miss Weasley?" Professor Archibald asked, stopping his lecture as I started to tap my finger on the desk. I sat up and smiled.

"Oh no Professor, I dare not interrupt your very interesting lecture," I said as sweetly as I could.

"Really? You thought it was interesting?" Archibald asked, folding his hands together. "Pray tell, what was it about? I seemed to have lost track of what I saying."

I bit my lip and adverted my eyes from Professor. I glanced around the classroom to try and figure out exactly what we were talking about. All I could figure out, though, was that the lecture was about runes.

"Well," I started, glancing once more around the room before settling my eyes on the professor, "It's about runes." The class laughed but Professor Archibald held up his hand to silence them. "And about translating them into words we can understand." That was all I could gather from the pictures around the room; shows how much I had been paying attention. The class laughed openly again as I sunk down in my seat, a blush creeping up my neck.

"Yes, Miss Weasley, we are learning about translating runes, and since you can't be more specific, I'm afraid I'll have to give you detention for inattentiveness," Professor Archibald said, a small smile on his lips. I think he was enjoying this a little too much.

"Detention?" I questioned, sitting up back up in my seat in shock. I don't do detention; I've never done detention. I even told him that. "I don't do detention, Professor."

"You don't do detention?" Professor Archibald repeated, raising his eyebrow.

"No," I said slowly, "no, I don't do detention."

"Well that's about to change, now isn't it?" Archibald said, walking behind his desk and pulling out a piece of parchment.

"Professor! I didn't do anything though!" I protested.

"You were late to my class and then you didn't even bother to pay attention, and now you are talking back to a teacher. I have to draw the line somewhere, Miss Weasley," Archibald explained, writing something down the parchment.

"But Professor! It wasn't, and then Draco, and he did, and, and it wasn't my fault!" I stuttered, trying to formulate an excuse.

"You have detention, that's the end of it. Report to my office tonight at seven," Archibald said, closing the subject.

I slumped back in the seat and crossed my arms over my chest. "Yes sir."

"Good, now that that is settled time to move onto memorization. I'm going to write down a symbol and you will look it up. I want everyone taking notes; we'll have a quiz on Friday," Archibald informed us as he drew a symbol on the board.

As the class looked in their books for the symbol I started to doodle on the cover of my unopened book. Notes were boring; I'll just get them from someone else. Besides, Archibald as already tortured me so he has no reason to pay attention to me anymore.

"Miss Weasley? Do you have the answer?"

Are _you_ kidding me? What happened to once-a-day torture sessions? "Not yet Professor, give me another minute." I reluctantly opened my book as slowly as possible.

"Never mind, I would hate for you to exert yourself," Archibald smiled. "Mr. Bohns, do you have an answer for us?"

"Joy," said the suck-up boy in the front row. I glared at the back of Alex Bohn's head, trying to burn a hole in it. Why can't students ever be normal and make professors work for their pay? Why did they always have to do what they want?

"Correct Mr. Bohns," Archibald exclaimed as he wrote the meaning under the symbol. The rustle of parchment and the scratching of quills filled my ears as everyone started to write that done. I looked up at the teacher and saw him staring right at me, as if warning me to take notes or else. I gave a weak smile and pulled out my parchment, quill, and ink.

I drew my symbol as slowly as possible and wrote the meaning in my best calligraphy, which honestly isn't that good but this is a good time to practice. By time I was done drawing that symbol, there was another one to be drawn. I continued this way the whole class time and by the end of the class, I hadn't been yelled at again.

When the bell rang, I gathered my stuff as quickly as possible and walked/jogged out of the classroom keeping my head as low as possible. But Archibald still got a last word out.

"Don't forget detention tonight at seven, Miss Weasley."

I groaned as loudly as possible as I slowed down in the hall. Third day of school and I have detention? Was this a sign for the rest of the year? Was I going to get detention every third day? God, I hoped not.

I trudged to the common room and up the stairs to get my Potions book. I went back to the common room and sat down. I had time to spare and Anna hadn't even come in yet. I pulled out my Potions essay that I had finished in the library and reread it. It was horribly written but I didn't have the energy to do any better. Besides, if the teacher, Philius or whatever he was called, really was from the Order, then he'd understand.

I was so engrossed in my badly written essay about some herb or something that I didn't notice people leaving and entering. I didn't even notice the boy with the dull emerald eyes staring at me from across the room. I didn't notice him, that is until he stood up and walked up to me.

"I have to talk to you."

I looked up from my essay to stare into the eyes of the boy I despised so much. My heart rate sped up and I started to twist the parchment in my hand.

"I have nothing to say to you," I said coldly as I started to pack my stuff. A cold hand was placed on mine and I stared at it. The hand was pale, bruised, and scars littered it. If that was a hand, what was the body like?

"Then just listen to me," he said, keeping his hand on top of mine. I came back to my senses and pulled my hand away.

"I don't have to."

"Please Ginny, please," he begged. I couldn't look at him, but by the sound of his voice he sounded like he was going to start crying.

I couldn't, I can't. It was too hard. I looked away as tears started to fill my eyes.

"I can't Harry, I just can't. It's too hard. Please just leave me alone," I said, my voice wavering as I gathered my essay and book bag.

Couldn't he see that I can't talk to him? Why can't he just realize that and leave me alone?

**A/N: Harry/Ginny action! Finally! Anyways, I was going to have that scene go different, but...yeah, it obviously didn't go that way. It basically would've been the same, maybe a little longer though and different words, same meaning though. Review because it makes me happy!**


	12. Chapter 11

**A/N: This is so short. Sorry. But I wanted to get this out. I start school in a week and doubt I'll be able to get another chapter up. So yeah, chapters will be coming alot later. Sorry. Hope you don't leave me!**

**Chapter 11**

The days grew shorter as winter began to lay her blanket over us. By the end of November, snow flakes could already be seen falling from the gray clouds above us. Fires were soon lit in the great fireplaces.

My studies have been going as good as they good. I haven't failed anything yet, but I was dangerously close on some occasions. It was only a matter of time before midnight bedtimes caught up to me.

_Dear Ginny,_

_Mum said I should owl you when I got to Hogwarts safely. Well here I am, owling you, telling you that I'm at Hogwarts and safe. Don't worry, you'll be here next year and I'll teach you all the tricks to make you pass all your classes. Of course I'll tell you once I figure them out._

_Oh, and it really is Harry Potter, the boy on the train. He's got the scar and everything. He's really nice though, not like how I would imagine him to be. It's like he doesn't even realize he's the most famous boy of our age._

_I've met the Malfoy's son, Draco. I'm sure you remember Dad talking about the Malfoy's on several occasions. Well their son is a git just like them. I'll give you some brotherly advice right now, stay as far away from him as possible. _

_And for the sorting, we didn't even have to fight a troll or anything like Fred and George said we would. It was just a stupid hat that reads your thoughts and tells you which house you're better suited for. Those gits._

_Tell everyone I said hi, I don't feel like writing a lot of letters. Bye Gin!_

_-Ron_

Detentions were not something I enjoyed, but I seemed to be getting those occasionally. Maybe it was my sleeping in class or me turning in assignments late all the time. Or maybe teachers just enjoyed taking away my time to do homework. Giving me detention was not going to get me to do my homework any faster.

_Dear Ginny,_

_Hogwarts is everything I've ever imagined. You'll love it when you get here. Ghosts, moving staircases, doors that aren't actually doors; it's amazing. There's even a poltergeist named Peeves. He's always getting kids late to class, not that I've ever been late or anything._

_I'll tell you already, Potions is horrible. The teacher is a git and a half. His hair is greasy and looks like it's never been washed. Plus he plays favorites with the Slytherins. _

_Be carefully in Herbology, plants may try and eat you, it's happened to me a few times. History of Magic is the class you can catch up on late homework. The teacher is a ghost and doesn't pay attention to anything. Just find someone you can copy notes off of. Professor Flitwick in Charms is a pushover, literally. He's a dwarf and he's funny. You'll enjoy him. You don't want to get on the bad side of Professor McGonagall. Even though she's our Head, she doesn't play favorites like Snape. She's very strict. Professor Quirrell is a fake, I swear. He won't tell us any stories of all the 'fascinating' stuff he's done. He's a fake._

_Well that's all I have time to write tonight. I have loads of homework to do. Harry says Hi by the way._

_-Ron_

What irked me the most was that I didn't have Quidditch to take my mind off of everything. For some strange reason, Dumbledore and the Head of Houses decided that it was for the best, since numbers were so low and there was a lot of danger. They weren't even allowing me to fly whenever I wanted. I had to have supervision and it had to be during the day. Everything I loved was being torn away from me.

_Ginny! I saw a troll! I'm dead serious!_

_So on Halloween some git let in a troll. Since me and Harry are such valiant heroes, we decided to ignore the rules and go help our now friend Hermione Granger. Well, first we accidentally put the troll in the bathroom with her, but then we went in and saved her. I knocked him out with my Wingardium Leviosa charm and Harry stuck his wand up his nose._

_Gross, yes, but it worked. We each won five House points, which should've been more, but I guess we did break the rules._

_Oh, I forgot to tell you. We got in a duel with that git, Little Malfoy. Actually it was a hoax and we almost got caught, but we were quick thinking and ran away. We actually saw this huge three-headed dog. Why would a three-headed dog be in Hogwarts? Well I've got to go; Harry's first Quidditch game is this afternoon. Oh, I forgot to tell you; Harry's the seeker on the Quidditch team._

_-Ron_

Draco was still annoying me. He would randomly pop up in the hallway and start talking to me. It was never about the same thing. He would just start talking to me about random stuff. We did have one 'intense' conversation, though.

I had been standing at the entrance of the Great Hall, leaning against the doorway, staring at all the people, mainly Harry. I hadn't meant to stare at him, but eyes had just drifted to him.

"Why don't you talk to him?" Draco said, sneaking up on me.

"Because he doesn't deserve to be talked to," I said coolly, folding my arms.

"And what did he do to deserve the cold shoulder?" Draco asked.

"Like you don't know," I retorted, stalking into the Great Hall.

Ok, it wasn't the most intense, but you have to read between the lines. He knows why I don't talk to Harry and yet he still has the nerve to talk to me about it?

_Merry Christmas Gin,_

_I really haven't had time to shop or anything so I hope love is enough for you, haha. Tell Mum that Harry and I appreciate the sweaters and sweets. Harry got an Invisibility Cloak! He's so lucky. Apparently it was his fathers and now someone anonymous gave it back to him._

_I really don't have anything else to say. By the way, have you heard of a guy by the name of Nicolas Flamel?_

_-Ron_

When Christmas time rolled around, I was one of the few people left at Hogwarts. I had a place waiting for me at Order's Headquarters but I didn't want to be around the people there. So I stayed here at Hogwarts with the few people that didn't have a place to go.

On Christmas morning I found the usual gifts from my family and friends. Then I found a package with bare wrapping at the very bottom. I picked it up curiously, wondering who it was from. I slowly opened to the wrapping to find a simple black journal. I curiously opened it up and found a small note written on the first page.

_If you won't talk, write._

**A/N: Even though it's short, I hope you all still review because you all love me! Yay!**


	13. Chapter 12

**A/N: Wow. Um, yeah. This chapter is what brings it all together..hopefully. It's suppose to anyways.**

**Well anyways, I start school tomorrow so who knows when I'll post again.**

**Chapter 12**

_Harry sat crouched behind a tree, silently wishing that his heart was only deafening to him and not to the Death Eaters that were currently stationed in the small valley next to him. He had been sitting there for the past five minutes and still he couldn't pluck up the courage to confidently walk in the clearing. Voldemort was there, he knew that, he had to kill him, he knew that, and yet he was scared. But didn't he have a right to be?_

_A mere boy of sixteen years of age asked to do what the greatest wizards could not do themselves? It was impossible._

_Alas, impossible seems not to be in the dictionary of the famous Harry Potter. So why was he so afraid?_

_Every time he had met Voldemort, he had never been this afraid. Was it the realization dawning on him that this was it? That this was the final battle? That one person will live but the other will die at his hand? It seemed like every thing else was child's play before this._

_Harry's common sense told him to merely hit him in the back when he wasn't looking, but his heart was telling him differently. He should be a man. He should stand up, and face Voldemort like the man he should be; the man he was becoming._

_But Harry couldn't do it. As much as he tried, he could not will his legs to pick him up and carry him through the foliage to either the victim or the murderer. Thankfully, or regrettably, he didn't have to._

"_Harry, please, it isn't polite to eavesdrop on a private conversation," came a loud voice through the woods. Harry cringed; it was like nails on a chalk board._

_With his heart in his throat, Harry slowly rose from his crouched position and turned to walk into the clearing. When he stepped through the foliage with his wand raised, he was met by Voldemort standing in the center with Death Eaters flanking him. They were wearing their masks but Harry knew that they were the same Death Eaters he had met in the Department of Mysteries, maybe more._

"_Harry Potter, how nice of you to join us this fine evening," Voldemort grinned. "I believe you've already met my loyal followers." Voldemort gestured toward the Death Eaters and their voice suddenly rang out in the cold, night air._

"_Harry Potter, the Boy who's going to Fail." "Come to try and take us on again Potter?" "Where are your loyal friends, Potter?" "Have you decided it was too much for your little girlfriend?" "Aw, is little Potter starting to get scared?" "Afraid you don't have enough nerve to use _Avada Kedavra_ on us?"_

_Harry tried with all of his will to ignore their taunts, but it was becoming harder and harder with every sentence. Slowly his confidence was weakening and his fear growing._

_Finally Voldemort raised his hand to stop them; he was laughing softly but it grew until it blocked out every other sound._

"_Harry, Harry, I see you have finally learned that this is just no place for your little friends. I'm proud of you, but you must understand that when I kill you tonight, they will be my first victims," Voldemort laughed._

"_There's a problem with that, you'll never be able to get past me," Harry said, wondering where this confidence had come from._

"_Really? Well we'll just have to see about that," Voldemort smirked, raising his wand. His smile waned though when he heard a rustle of leaves. Then he smiled wide again. "Looks like I was wrong, your friends are here."_

"_What?" Harry exclaimed, looking around for a familiar redhead or bushy hair. Voldemort ignored him, though, and waved a few of Death Eaters to go into the woods. A few minutes of excruciating silence passed before a loud grunt, a shriek, and more yelling were heard. Moments later the Death Eaters came back carrying Ron, Ginny, and Hermione. They were all slightly bruised and struggling against their captors, but still alive and breathing._

"_Harry!" Hermione exclaimed when she saw him._

"_What are you guys doing here?" Harry shouted, trying to keep one eye on Voldemort but still looking at his friends. "I told you to go home!"_

"_Did you honestly think I, we were going to leave you?" Ginny demanded, a look of ferocity on her face._

"_How sweet, a nice reunion, but alas, it has to end," Voldemort sneered, raising his wand once again. This time, instead of pointing it at Harry, he was facing his three best friends. "Which shall be the first to go?"_

"_Don't you dare touch a hair on their heads," Harry said, gritting his teeth. If his friends were going to place themselves in harm's way, he would protect them at all cost._

"_Harry, Harry, haven't you learned anything from protecting your friends? They're going to end up getting hurt even worse and it'll be your fault. So how about you be a smart little boy and leave me to my business?" Voldemort said, a cruel smile playing on his lips._

"_That's like asking me to stop loving, to stop caring," Harry said, stepping closer to his friends but keeping his wand pointed at Voldemort._

"_Love? Is that what you think will save you? Love is nothing," Voldemort spat. "Love turns into rejection which turns into pain and hurt. Love is just a word that people made up to describe a small infatuation."_

"_That's not true!" Ron suddenly shouted._

"_Really?" Voldemort asked, rounding on the tall red-head._

"_No, it's not. I love Hermione. I always will. This isn't a small infatuation, and if it is an infatuation then it's been going on for a long time. Love is the purest of all magic. It's greater than anything you could ever do," Ron said, standing up tall against the Dark Lord._

"_You don't know what you're talking about boy," Voldemort said, grabbing Ron's arm and twisting it painfully. "If love is so pure, will it save you when I kill you?"_

_Ron remained silent but continued to glare at Voldemort._

"_Oh Ron," Hermione moaned quietly under her breath. "I love you too."_

_Ron had no chance to respond though, because dozens of pops were sounded across the valley. But before the Aurors and Order of the Phoenix member could start saying even one spell, Voldemort laughing and welcomed them with open arms._

"_Welcome! I'm so glad you could join us for the diminish of the famous Harry Potter," Voldemort sneered, before signaling the remaining Death Eaters to attack the Aurors. By time the Aurors figured out what was happening, it was already too late. In no time, the trio and Ginny's hope were laying unconscious on the ground. "Harry, Harry, I must say your friends were a refreshing change of pace, but now to move onto higher things."_

"_Don't touch them," a weak voice groaned from the ground. The whole company of kids, Death Eaters, and Lord Voldemort looked over to see Arthur Weasley struggling to his knees. A cut was bleeding heavily across his forehead and bruises were already starting to form but otherwise he was alive and conscience. _

"_Well if it isn't Arthur Weasley. You're just in time to see you're very own son murdered beneath my hands," Voldemort sneered._

"_You won't touch them," Arthur groaned, slowly rising to his feet and raising his wand with a shaking arm._

"_I'm afraid to say, someone like you won't be able to stop me," Voldemort said. "_Imperio_!" Arthur's face screwed up in concentration but after a few moments it passed and a_ _dazed, peaceful look overcame him as he dropped his arm. A small smile played on his lips._

"_Now I know you're just dieing to say goodbye to your youngest son," Voldemort laughed._

_Slowly, Arthur Weasley walked across the clearing with the same dazed expression and small smile. Ron's breathing became more rapid and shallow as Arthur got closer and closer to him. When he was a mere foot or so away from his son he stopped. Arthur's eyes were misted over and he wasn't even looking at Ron._

"_Dad?" Ron croaked out as he started to shake._

"_Dad! Snap out of it! You're under a spell; we're right in front of you! Dad!" Ginny cried, her voice growing weaker as the Weasley's dad slowly raised his arm, pointing it at Ron._

"_Goodbye Ronald," Voldemort laughed._

" Avada Kedavra_!" "Dad!" "Ron!" A jet of green light threw Ron back into his captor's arms who quickly tossed him on the ground._

_Hermione struggled against the man who held her arms. Finally he just let her go and she rushed to Ron where she kneeled down, tears pouring out of her eyes._

_Harry started to tremble as he watched Hermione shake Ron's limp body. He knew this would happen. That's why he didn't tell anyone. He knew someone would get hurt. He knew someone would get killed._

_Harry glanced at Ginny and saw her hanging limply in her captor's arms. She was staring numbly at Ron's body as if she wasn't registering what happened. The Death Eater that held her leaned over and whispered something in her ear but she continued to stare numbly. Then he heard the Death Eater whisper in her ear again but louder._

"_Tell Harry to kill him now!" _

_Harry recognized that voice, he did. He just couldn't place it._

"_If Harry doesn't kill the Dark Lord now, your brother's death would have been in vain.."_

_It was Lucius, Lucius Malfoy. Was he helping them now? But Ginny just stood there as if she was deaf._

"_Harry! Harry, kill him now!" Lucius shouted across to the Boy Who Lived._

"_Lucius?" Voldemort questioned, hearing his shout. "One my most loyal followers? Are you betraying me?" _

_Lucius through Ginny to ground and stood his ground._

"_You made him kill his son," Lucius said grimly, knowing what was coming._

"_No one betrays the Dark Lord. _Avada Kedavra_!" Voldemort shouted. Lucius fell to the ground, his eyes now lifeless._

"_Dare Harry, I'm afraid we'll have to reschedule our dual. I have urgent business to attend to," Voldemort said, mock bowing. Voldemort grinned and Apparated, as did the rest of the Death Eaters._

_It took a moment for Harry to realize what just happened, but when he did, he dropped his wand and rushed over to Ginny was who was sitting on her knees. Her breathing was shallow and she was turned away from Ron's body._

"_Ginny?" Harry said, slowly placing his arm on her._

"_Don't touch me," Ginny whispered, shrugging off his arm._

**A/N: Well I think that's the last of the flashbacks. There was no way I could split this up so it's one big chapter. There might be one flashback, I'm not sure. We'll see. **

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much I did writing it. Not too many chapter left after this...I think.**


	14. Chapter 13

**A/N: Sorry! I had to edit something in this chapter that was realllllly important...mainly I just had to add something...which is at the end so that's all you really have to read if you've already read this chapter. I decided that I didn't want to write another chapter because it would just end up being more choppy and even more spacier than this chapter and I didn't want to do that. So that means all that's left is the Epilogue...amazing...ok..off to write that. :)**

**Chapter 13**

_Like a photograph  
__That fades away  
__My pain subsides  
__You drift away_

_All I've got  
__Are these memories  
__That lose their color  
__That lose a meaning_

_And all I've got  
__Are these photographs  
__That deaden with time  
__And lose their words_

_And all I've got  
__Are all these scars  
__From silly adventures  
__That made us close_

_And all I've got  
__Is this silly book  
__Where we wrote our future  
__For us later to read_

_As I flip through this book  
__All my memories return  
__My pain comes back  
__You're here by my side_

I stared at the short poem I had just written as my face scrunched up in disgust. I hated writing so why was I even bothering? Because it was from an anonymous person? Because, maybe, deep down inside of me I knew that it actually helped to write when I couldn't talk to someone? Either way, it was starting to become not a good enough of reason.

It was two weeks after Christmas. School was back in swing. People were back to ignoring me. Teachers were back to picking on me. It was a wonderful system, I must say.

Those few days after Christmas and before school started I had just stared at the notebook, trying to figure out who had sent it to me. My first guess was Hermione but then I realized that she would've told me it was from her. Then I thought maybe my mum. But then I looked at her present and ruled that out. I got a sweater, as usual, but the threads were loose, it was starting to unravel, and tear drop stains littered it.

Harry was my third guess. Heaven knows why I would think that, but I did. We hadn't talked since that afternoon in the common room. He hasn't even looked at me. Has he finally gotten the picture that looking at him only reminded me of Ron? I hope so.

So Harry was ruled out which left no one. I couldn't think of anyone that would send me a random notebook. Anna had crossed my mind but she flat-out told me she didn't give it to me and she never lies.

Now I had a black journal from a mysterious person and I was actually writing in it. Hadn't I learned anything from my Second Year? Apparently I hadn't since I was writing in it.

"Still writing?" Anna asked me when she sat down next to me in the common room. She peered over my shoulder to read what I had written.

"No, I'm done," I snapped, closing my book abruptly before she could read too much of it. I didn't like people reading what I write.

"Don't stop on my account," Anna said, ignoring my sour tone and leaning back against the couch.

"I'm not. I'm just done writing. Besides, I really should start on my Ancient Runes essay," I said, drumming my fingers on the table, avoiding Anna's gaze.

"Yeah Ginny, I'm sure you're going to go work on you're essay," Anna rolled her eyes. "You never do you're homework until the last minute and the essay isn't due until Friday."

"Maybe I have a Transfiguration essay due," I retaliated.

"We don't though," Anna said, a smile playing on her lips. I was losing and she knew it. "Why don't you want to write anymore?"

"I just don't feel like it anymore," I said, scratching the felt covering of the journal.

"Does it help?" Anna asked quietly after a moment's silence. I didn't look at Anna even though I knew she was gazing intensely at me. I concentrated on the cover.

"Yes, yes it does," I whispered.

----------------------------------------

I carried the journal with me everywhere. I took it to all my classes, it was constantly in the common room with me, and it was even next to me during lunch. Maybe I just didn't want anyone to read it, or maybe I always wanted a place to write when my emotions were so great that I was afraid I might burst.

When my emotions were that great, I scribbled away in my journal, unaware of my surroundings. Whether it was in the middle of class or while I was chewing my food, I always stopped what I was doing so that I could write. I didn't want to blow up on anyone. I had lost plenty of friends from that.

Anna supported me. She understood what this journal was doing to me. It was changing me whether I wanted to acknowledge it or not.

And I was changing. I wasn't digging my grave anymore. I wasn't a hostile girl anymore. I still refused to talk to Harry, but I had matured. I still missed Ron greatly, but I was accepting it. Writing really was helping.

And to be completely honest, I didn't mind Draco talking to me all the time. Well, I think you could call it talking. It still annoyed the crap out of me, but it was all part of the system. The days that Draco didn't randomly bump into me and mutter something so I could hear seemed like they were a waste. I felt complete when he did that. It wasn't that I got happy or excited when he talked to me; it's just that it showed that someone else cared about me besides Anna.

-----------------------------------------------------

"Ginny."

"Malfoy."

"Why do you call me Malfoy?" Draco asked, leaning against the outside wall and then sliding down so he was sitting down next to me.

It was the middle of February but it was such a nice day that I decided to come outside. Needless to say I had my notebook in hand.

"Because it's your name," I said simply, stating the obvious.

"It's my last name, not my first name. And usually people call others by their first name," Draco said.

"Yeah but they have to deserve to be called by their first name," I said, opening and closing the cover of journal so I had something to do with my hands.

"And I don't deserve it?" Draco asked in mock surprise.

"Do you really think you deserve it?" I asked him.

"I think I've been a pretty good acquaintance this past year; at least better than others," Draco said, picking at a piece of grass.

"Fine, Draco," I said, stressing his name, "are you happy now?"

"I guess so," he shrugged.

"Why do you talk to me?" I asked.

"I thought we had already gone through this," Draco said, leaning his head against the wall and looking up at the cloudy sky.

"Well yeah but I still don't understand why," I said quietly, flipping the journal cover open and keeping it like that. The little note from the mysterious giver still burned on the first page. Half of the notebook has been filled with doodles, sketches, poems, and rants but this first page was the only page that was still clean. I didn't plan on marking on it ever.

"Ginny you went through something that no one should ever have to go through. It happened at such a young age and now you have to live with it your whole life," Draco said.

"I was fifteen, how is that young?" I asked.

"Fifteen's young compared to forty-five," Draco stated.

"But why would you take pity on me? I'm a Weasley; Malfoys don't like Weasleys."

"Promise not to tell anyone?" Draco asked, looking me straight in the eye. His eyes burned with such intensity that I couldn't look away. I slowly nodded. "I was there Ginny. I saw everything. Why do you think I came over to this side, to the good side?" I shrugged my shoulders and he continued, "I saw what Voldemort did, how ruthless he truly was. Making a father kill his own son? And then he proceeded to kill my father right in front of me. He knew I was there."

I suddenly noticed that Draco's shoulders were shaking and his voice kept changing pitches. He was upset, he was almost crying. It suddenly made me feel like all my emotions were petty compared to him, but then again it was the same thing. We had both watched someone we loved die.

"Draco," I whispered, tentatively grabbing his hand which was fiercely tearing strands of grass into little pieces. A pile had already formed on his lap.

"Ginny, I lost everything that night. I lost my father to death, my mother to alcohol, and my friends to Voldemort. You haven't lost everything yet. You still have people who love you. You still have friends. You still have Harry," Draco said, regaining his composure.

I dropped his hand. Why did he have to mention Harry?

"I hate hearing that name, you know," I said, slamming my notebook shut.

"No you don't, you just don't want to think about it." I stood up and turned my back to him. "Just talk to Harry, Ginny, just talk! Not talking to Harry won't bring your brother back. Who knows, maybe talking to him will help ease your pain because apparently writing isn't."

I felt Draco brush past me and I clutched my journal to my chest. I fiercely wiped away the tears that had escaped and continued to stand there next to the wall.

----------------------------------------------------------

I stormed into the common room twisting my notebook but unable to rip it. I faintly noticed the entire room go quiet as I stomped over to the fireplace. The students in the armchairs close to the fire quickly leap up when they saw my face. I knelt in front of the fire and as the heat washed over me, I twisted the notebook again, trying to rip it.

By this time I noticed that tears were freely falling down my cheeks. Why was I crying? Why was I acting like this? I thought I had gotten over crying for Ron. Hadn't I shed enough tears for him? But then again, you can never really get over someone's death.

Maybe I wasn't crying because of Ron. Maybe I was crying because of what Draco had said. Did his explanation of why I refused to talk to Harry affect me that much? Or was his story finally taking its toll on me? It was heart-wrenching what he had gone through but I can't believe it would make me cry this much.

Or maybe the notebook was getting ripped up and these tears were falling because Draco was right. He was completely and utterly right about everything. He was right about Harry, he was right about my feelings; he was even right about what I had to do. I hated it when someone else was right about me.

I stared at my notebook and stared to flip through it, briefly looking at the beginning of each poem and rant. Why did it hurt so much?

**A/N: You know you want to review again...or review for the first time.**


	15. Chapter 14

**A/N: ...it's done. And I decided this was better as a Chapter than an Epilogue.**

**Chapter 14**

I piled all of my clothes into my trunk and tried to slam it shut. Of course it wouldn't because somehow over the course of the year I had gained about five more outfits. How I had managed this, I had no idea.

I knelt down on the floor and looked under the bed to make sure there weren't any clothes under my bed. I groaned when I saw a lone sock sitting in the middle of the dusty area under my bed. Unable to reach it with just my arm under the bed, I groaned again as I climbed under the bed.

"This is so disgusting," I muttered as I crawled through inches of dust. I retrieved the sock and backtrack until I was sure I was out from under the bed. Unfortunately I wasn't.

"Damn," I cursed when I raised my head, sure that I was out from under the bed. I hadn't been, though, and knocked my head on the bed hard. I sat rubbing the back of my head, willing the sharp pain to go away and praying that I wasn't going to get a huge bump. I heard a loud thud and sat still. Slowly I rose to my knees and saw that my trunk had disappeared from my bed.

"You have to be kidding me," I said angrily as I climbed to my feet, the pain from my head forgotten. I walked over to the end of my bed and saw my trunk overturned on the floor, all of my clothes strewn on the floor. "I hate life," I cried as I bent over and started to gather my clothes.

I heard a soft knock and then the door slowly open. "I heard a loud thud, do you need any help?" a timid voice came from the door. I turned and saw Hermione in the doorway. I was about to turn away and ignore her but then the mess on the floor caught my eye. She was always good at cleaning up messes.

"Ok," I shrugged, kneeling back down and picking up my time-worn trunk. Hermione walked over, knelt beside me, and started to pick my clothes and fold them.

We cleaned up the mess in silence, but it wasn't the hostile silence we had shared before school had started. We just didn't feel like talking. A few minutes into the cleaning we had system set up. I would gather all of my clothes and put them into my trunk and then Hermione would pull them back out and fold them neatly, setting the clothes on the bed.

"I'm going to go get my stuff from the bathroom," I said quietly, getting up from my sitting position. I saw Hermione nod and I walked over to the bathroom. I rummaged around the bathroom, picking up my toothbrush, make-up, and various other toiletries. I heard a noise and I paused. There it was again. It was someone laughing.

I picked up all of my stuff and walked out of the bathroom and saw Hermione sitting on the floor laughing while looking at some pictures. I crept silently over to her and peered over her shoulder. My breath caught in my throat. It was of Ron. Wait, these were my pictures. I dropped everything I was holding in my arms.

"Ginny!" Hermione said, turning around as if she had been caught doing something illegal. "Sorry, I didn't mean to go through your stuff. I was just reaching for some clothes and I pulled this out, sorry," she stammered, a blush creeping up her neck.

At first I couldn't respond. I didn't know what to say. I wanted to snatch back the pictures and yell at her, but I didn't. For the first time I couldn't lash out on her.

Instead I slowly took the picture from her hands and looked at it. After a moment a smile broke out on my face.

"I remember this time," I said quietly, the smile getting wider. "He got so mad when he found this picture. I'm so glad he didn't get a chance to burn it."

"Yeah," Hermione said quietly, still unsure if I was going to lash out on her again or not. I knelt down next to the trunk and dragged out more pictures.

"Remember this picture?" I asked, holding the picture up for Hermione to see. Hermione took it and smiled, laughing a little bit.

"That was a really great time," Hermione said, sitting down next to me.

For the next hour Hermione and I ruffled through photographs of Ron and various friends. We smiled at every picture and laughed the most at all of the pictures of him playing Quidditch.

"Oh, oh! I remember this! It was the morning after that Gryffindor Common Room party. He was so wasted," I said, waving the picture in front of Hermione. She took the picture from me and started to crack up laughing.

"I told him he was going to regret it in the morning," Hermione said between laughs.

"Oh please, like you didn't do anything that night," I said, nudging her in the shoulder.

"It was just a kiss," Hermione moaned, dropping her head in her hands.

"But it was who it was with!" I argued, laughing.

"Next time I'll try to be more careful about who I'm around when I've had a little bit to drink," Hermione said, laughing.

"A little bit is an understatement," I said.

"It was not my fault. I had a sip of Ron's and then everyone decided to spike all of my drinks when I wasn't looking. It wasn't my fault," Hermione argued. I just laughed and rolled my eyes.

"Whatever you say," I shrugged. I sighed and let a small laugh out again as memory after memory filed into my head as I looked at each picture that we were surrounded by. Slowly Hermione and I fell into silence, lost in our own thoughts. "I'm sorry," I said so suddenly I even surprised myself for a second.

"What?" Hermione asked, not catching what I had said.

"I said I'm sorry," I said again after taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry for being just an ass this whole year. I had no right."

"No, no you had a right," Hermione said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "I should've understood what you were going through."

"No, I was being selfish. You were going through the same thing. I'm just really sorry, and I hope we can still be really good friends," I said, looking hopefully up at her.

"Oh my god Ginny, of course we can still be friends! Of course! I wouldn't think of anything else," Hermione cried, wrapping her arms around me. Gratefully, I wrapped my arms around her. It felt so good to be on good terms with Hermione again.

"Thank you," I said quietly, sniffing back a tear. I pulled back reluctantly and stood up. "Um, thanks for helping me clean up and stuff and I want to talk to you some more but there's something I really have to do right now."

"Ok," Hermione said slowly, standing up as well. "Are you going to be ok?"

"I will be," I said, giving her a smile and then walking out of the dorm room.

---------------------------------------------------

I leaned against the wall, half-hidden by the door, trying to muster every ounce of courage I had, because this was definitely going to take every bit of it.

"I don't want to do this, I can't do this, why am I doing this?" I muttered, taking a deep breath. I took a step into the sunlight but quickly retreated when I saw him again. I've been doing this for the past ten minutes and I couldn't get past the first step.

"Is it really that hard?"

I turned and saw Draco standing on the opposite wall, looking out the doorway.

"Yes," I said simply.

"You're making it hard on yourself. Just take a deep breath, walk out there, and talk to him," Draco said, shrugging his shoulders.

"You're making it sound too easy. It's not going to be that easy," I argued. "There is no way this is going to be easy."

"Listen to yourself," Draco said, "you're what's making it hard. You're telling yourself it's going to be hard so you're assuming it's going to be hard. I guarantee it won't be as hard as you think."

"Have you gone through this before? Have you confronted your dead brother's best freaking friend? You know, that guy that you saw everyday in the hall with your brother, the only brother who actually cared about you? That guy who also saved your life when you almost died? Have you confronted that guy? Have you told him that you're still in love with him? Do you plan on telling him that? That even though you've ignored him for the past year and a half you still love him no matter what he's done and what you know he's going to do?

"Do you miss him? Do miss being able to run up to him and throw your arms around him and know everything's going to be all right? Do you miss it more because you know it'll never be the same or because you know you'll never be able to go back to the way things were no matter what you do? God, because I miss it, I miss it so much," I cried. I was crying and I didn't even care. I silently wiped away the tears but I didn't care that they were coming back.

"You're right," Draco said simply after a few minutes. "I haven't gone through any of that, and you're right that it'll never be the same, but that doesn't mean you can't try."

"I hate trying," I muttered, leaning back on the stone wall.

"You'll never get anywhere if you don't try," Draco said, giving me a small smile. I glared back.

I took a deep breath, wiped the tears from my cheeks and looked outside to the lake, searching for the hunched figure under the tear.

"I hate you," I said, looking back at Draco. He just smiled, rolled his eyes, and walked away with his hands in his pockets. "Typical Malfoy," I muttered at his retreated back.

I looked back outside, took a couple deep breaths, and took a step outside. I didn't retreat but took another, and then another, and then another until I was slowly making my way over to a certain tree where a certain boy sat.

When I was few feet away I seriously considered walking away. He hadn't noticed me yet and he would never know that I had been there. I could just walk away and do this another time.

But I couldn't, and I knew I couldn't. I had do this. Sooner better than later.

I took another step, and then another and soon I was right behind him. He still hadn't noticed me so I sat down, right next to him.

Harry looked up from his book in surprise. I wasn't looking at him, I was looking at the muddy ground, but I could feel his surprised look. He started to fumble with his book, his hands, and his hair, unsure of what to do. It was almost comical if this wasn't such a serious situation.

"Hey," I finally said, still not looking at him, to break the tense silence.

"I-um, hey," Harry said, finally settling on those simple words.

We fell back into silence. I didn't know what to say and even if I did I wasn't sure I would want to and Harry unable to say anything because he was so shocked that I was sitting next to him and sort of talking to him.

Finally I looked up from the ground and gave him the best smile I could to tell him that everything was going to be ok. That we could work through this. That no matter what, no matter what happened or happens, we would always be there for each other. That we could work the constricting pain together.

**The End**

**A/N: ...it's done. It's complete. You guys might think it ends ubruptly...and it might but this is how I planned to end it since the very beginning...well actually I was just going to end it at 'Hey' but changed that. So yeah, you'll live.**

**I'm not doing a sequel, I have no ideas for one. So please don't ask. Sorry.**

**I hope you guys have enjoyed this fic, I certianly have. Honestly I was planning on this whole 'goodbye' thing. But I finished this Friday I had to edit it but then alot of stuff has happened and right now I just can't do any of that. But I'm so thankful for all of you guys, all of my reviewers and silent readers (who should definitly review since this is the last chapter, hinthint). I love you all to death.**

**Thank you so much for sharing this writing experience with me.**


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